Dear diary,
Today is a Bad day, upset + frustrated. Didn't want things to turn out the way they did today, but it happened anyway. I don't like to talk about things that cannot be changed. What's done is done... i don't cry over spilt milk. I believe things ought to be talked out amicably. Everything can be solved... with a problem comes a solution.
Maybe things were my fault to begin with... MAybe its just the weather. Nobody likes to be yelled at... but it happens anyway. This aint fairyland where people all live peacefully and happily ever after.
I don't want to think about it for now... just want to run away from it all and be like a hermit, hide in my shell and study.
" I'm sorry for the things that are right now, but it already happened. Calm the storm and may i be still, for in you i put my trust and hope upon. I look to you."
Monday, January 30, 2006
Friday, January 27, 2006
Woohoo.. Mummy is arriving
In about 6 hours time my mom's flight would have reached Brisbane. Did alittle clean up here and there... scrub the kitchen oven, notify my flatmate that my mom will be arriving so that he won't be so shocked ( like he care like that). That time when my dad and sis arrived he didn't even bother to go and greet them. Just remained in that room of his... Hmph.
Really grateful that a friend of mine can give me and my mom a life back. Cause cabs don't come cheap. Yea.. how coincidental can it be? Her brother and my mom are on the same flight! It's not coincidental, it was God planned. The invisible hand at work. I'm super joyful today, that's a good note to start the day with yea?!
Really grateful that a friend of mine can give me and my mom a life back. Cause cabs don't come cheap. Yea.. how coincidental can it be? Her brother and my mom are on the same flight! It's not coincidental, it was God planned. The invisible hand at work. I'm super joyful today, that's a good note to start the day with yea?!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
DoiNk!
Don't feel like saying much today.
Tomorrow my mummy arrives.
Have to clean up, study and make time for God.
I am still seeking, still asking and knocking.
I need to play whack the crocodile on the head.
Tomorrow my mummy arrives.
Have to clean up, study and make time for God.
I am still seeking, still asking and knocking.
I need to play whack the crocodile on the head.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The choices that are made
I was looking through friendster... found another long lost friend. We were in the same class in primary school, can't remember if we ever spoke. But, she was a prominent girl, cannot be missed becoz she's super tall. In secondary school, she was prefect, but i never spoke to her. Can't believe that she still remembers me... i always know that she is smart, with a very strong distinctive facial features. So she has now made it in the modelling world, saw her portfolio... astonished and shocked, she was almost naked in some pictures. Is this what she really wants? Is this what living is all about? Doing what we really want? Pursuing our own dreams? Taking chances?
It is a constant stuggle to merge both spiritual life and reality together. There used to be a clear cut in both areas. The cut was so clear.. that it almost seemed like i was having two totally different personalities live in one world until, until, he tore down the very things i thought were important, my life has never been so transparent... to the point of agreeing that my life was actually empty... so empty that it is worthless... and though i'm so worthless, he saw me as a precious daughter, called me his very own child and gave up his own son just so that i am given another chance.
There's nothing wrong with being a model.. but at least retain some self dignity! I don't agree with the path your taking. Sometimes, black is black, white is white... its just like lies.. there's no such things as white lies... you must be thinking... that's harsh. But how can you say black is the same as grey? The world has turned things that are so wrong to things that appear not so wrong. Like a girl is a girl, and a boy is a boy, yet the world has turned it upside down. With bisexuals, transexual... you don't know what is what. Simple logic... something so simple and so beautiful have been tarnished in our very own hands.
There's too many issues in this world. I cannot comprehend. It pains me so... just to see friends going in so many wrong directions. Maybe one has to go through darkness so that one can understand and embrace the light. There's choices to be made in life... and every choice we make has consequences. Which door to open? Matt 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." We don't have to make the choices cause we don't know what is behind the door... but He knows. So why not trust and let him do the leading? (Easier said than done...)
Many times in a battle, I draw out my sword to fight, forgetting that this is not my battle but God's alone.
It is a constant stuggle to merge both spiritual life and reality together. There used to be a clear cut in both areas. The cut was so clear.. that it almost seemed like i was having two totally different personalities live in one world until, until, he tore down the very things i thought were important, my life has never been so transparent... to the point of agreeing that my life was actually empty... so empty that it is worthless... and though i'm so worthless, he saw me as a precious daughter, called me his very own child and gave up his own son just so that i am given another chance.
There's nothing wrong with being a model.. but at least retain some self dignity! I don't agree with the path your taking. Sometimes, black is black, white is white... its just like lies.. there's no such things as white lies... you must be thinking... that's harsh. But how can you say black is the same as grey? The world has turned things that are so wrong to things that appear not so wrong. Like a girl is a girl, and a boy is a boy, yet the world has turned it upside down. With bisexuals, transexual... you don't know what is what. Simple logic... something so simple and so beautiful have been tarnished in our very own hands.
There's too many issues in this world. I cannot comprehend. It pains me so... just to see friends going in so many wrong directions. Maybe one has to go through darkness so that one can understand and embrace the light. There's choices to be made in life... and every choice we make has consequences. Which door to open? Matt 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." We don't have to make the choices cause we don't know what is behind the door... but He knows. So why not trust and let him do the leading? (Easier said than done...)
Many times in a battle, I draw out my sword to fight, forgetting that this is not my battle but God's alone.
Faith vs Truth
Spent time with a new friend after school today. She is the hong kong girl i wrote about yesterday. It was so sweet of her to like give me a lift back home. So surprised that she owns a car.
Then i realise that she was gonna do her grocery so ended up going with her to indooroopilly shopping centre.. and ended up having lunch with her before doing groceries with her. Talked quite alot, and she shared quite alot... a very nice down to earth gril.
So here's what i know about her... she's the only child in her family, owns a car for safety reasons... coz of some incident that happened when she was walking home one night. She lives alone because she knows that its hard to live with a friend... lifestyle difference...etc. It's easy for one to mistake her as a rich materialistic kinda girl, but she's not! Like i said, she's down to earth, reasonable... unspoilt girl.
And she's pretty serious about her studies too! She was in the same tutorial class with me instead of following her friends. Her friends felt that the tute we went to was too long.. and opted for the other class. So you can tell... she doesn't follow the crowd blindly.
Only child, living alone... i believe that there are times where she feels lonely and all. Since she lives near me... shall accompany her more often. Maybe dinner at my place together or something.
Today's lesson was pretty long... felt that the teacher was going like a tutu train. But nonetheless, manage to catch some stuff... thanks to the revision that i did last night. Tml i have to clear up my room, make it super sparkling clean when my mom arrives on Friday. Actually i just got off the phone with her. I felt tense when speaking with her. I felt compelled... whatever it is, i just pray that i'll keep my cool when she arrives, praying for:
her journey mercy,
good weather,
something nice and cheerfu to happen during her stay here,
pray that everything will be pleasing in His eyes,
pray that it'll be a fruitful time of peaceful joyful bonding with each other,
pray that we won't quarrel,
pray that the'll be no embarrassing moments.
Her stay here is significant, i almost feel like its her majesty who is coming to visit.
"Father, you are the only one who is in control of the situation. I pray that you will be in every situation, in every second that passes me by, that you will be glorified."
Got to go make a list of what to do when mummy is here... not that i want to be kept super busy, but mummy is a super mom. She is always on the ball... sometimes it is I who cannot keep up with her. Like i said... my mom is a superwoman.
Then i realise that she was gonna do her grocery so ended up going with her to indooroopilly shopping centre.. and ended up having lunch with her before doing groceries with her. Talked quite alot, and she shared quite alot... a very nice down to earth gril.
So here's what i know about her... she's the only child in her family, owns a car for safety reasons... coz of some incident that happened when she was walking home one night. She lives alone because she knows that its hard to live with a friend... lifestyle difference...etc. It's easy for one to mistake her as a rich materialistic kinda girl, but she's not! Like i said, she's down to earth, reasonable... unspoilt girl.
And she's pretty serious about her studies too! She was in the same tutorial class with me instead of following her friends. Her friends felt that the tute we went to was too long.. and opted for the other class. So you can tell... she doesn't follow the crowd blindly.
Only child, living alone... i believe that there are times where she feels lonely and all. Since she lives near me... shall accompany her more often. Maybe dinner at my place together or something.
Today's lesson was pretty long... felt that the teacher was going like a tutu train. But nonetheless, manage to catch some stuff... thanks to the revision that i did last night. Tml i have to clear up my room, make it super sparkling clean when my mom arrives on Friday. Actually i just got off the phone with her. I felt tense when speaking with her. I felt compelled... whatever it is, i just pray that i'll keep my cool when she arrives, praying for:
her journey mercy,
good weather,
something nice and cheerfu to happen during her stay here,
pray that everything will be pleasing in His eyes,
pray that it'll be a fruitful time of peaceful joyful bonding with each other,
pray that we won't quarrel,
pray that the'll be no embarrassing moments.
Her stay here is significant, i almost feel like its her majesty who is coming to visit.
"Father, you are the only one who is in control of the situation. I pray that you will be in every situation, in every second that passes me by, that you will be glorified."
Got to go make a list of what to do when mummy is here... not that i want to be kept super busy, but mummy is a super mom. She is always on the ball... sometimes it is I who cannot keep up with her. Like i said... my mom is a superwoman.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
!/2 the summer journey is gone!
The mid exams are over... so half the summer journey have passed me by just like that. Left half the journey. Life is a journey of constant learning. I am still learning... like a little bud, i want to keep growing towards the light and one day blossom.
Today i got to know a new friend! Heehee... and she lives so near me! Nice hong kong girl... I formed my first few impression of her by looking at her friends. Her friends were talking and laughing. Just didn't look like the kind who studies if you know what i mean. But, too many times my judgement has failed me. So i was nice, didn't avoid the conversations and it turned out that she's quite a different person to what i thought she was. Well, will get to know her better in afew days time.
Tomorrow got lesson. Have to revise today's homework and do homework. Gonna do all tonight. Revising today's work shall be my main goal. Cause the chapter holds quite alot of weightage for the finals i think. I hope the finals will be easy!! Life is so full of uncertainty (what a coincidence, my friend just typed "Life is so unpredictable" in MSN. Singing the same tune). The only thing that i can be certain of right now is my salvation. Just focusing on the ultimate goal, makes everything that surrounds me insignificant.
Thoughts for today: Life always seems out of control. Like the saying.. "Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're going to get". Yet, there is someone in control of every situation, always there, always present.
If i got time, i would love to add a photo slideshow next to all the entries. Shall do that when i got the time.
Today i got to know a new friend! Heehee... and she lives so near me! Nice hong kong girl... I formed my first few impression of her by looking at her friends. Her friends were talking and laughing. Just didn't look like the kind who studies if you know what i mean. But, too many times my judgement has failed me. So i was nice, didn't avoid the conversations and it turned out that she's quite a different person to what i thought she was. Well, will get to know her better in afew days time.
Tomorrow got lesson. Have to revise today's homework and do homework. Gonna do all tonight. Revising today's work shall be my main goal. Cause the chapter holds quite alot of weightage for the finals i think. I hope the finals will be easy!! Life is so full of uncertainty (what a coincidence, my friend just typed "Life is so unpredictable" in MSN. Singing the same tune). The only thing that i can be certain of right now is my salvation. Just focusing on the ultimate goal, makes everything that surrounds me insignificant.
Thoughts for today: Life always seems out of control. Like the saying.. "Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're going to get". Yet, there is someone in control of every situation, always there, always present.
If i got time, i would love to add a photo slideshow next to all the entries. Shall do that when i got the time.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Humility like never displayed before
I couldn't sleep a wink last night.. was tossing left and right... my body temperature was unusually high... and could literally feel my brain burning. Burning what i have no clue. Whatever it is... last night was sheer struggle of keeping my thought together. My thoughts were all over the place... right... just what i needed, a "good" sleep before my mid.
Before i knew it, the sun was up and i had to drag myself out of bed. I felt so drained, lethargic. I commanded every single strength i had left in me, said a quick prayer, and glanced through one last time through all the work. I left home, hopped on the bus and arrived in sch abt 20mins earlier. Revised again and sat for the paper. I remained calm throughout the whole paper, no point panicking. Besides i think i don't have anymore energy left to panick.
Lecture was really "great" because i couldn't catch much of what she is trying to get to. Another session of ???? And there was this working adult in class who couldnt quite catch one part of what she was trying to say. So he interrupted her politely and said "I'm sorry for my stupidity, but regarding the graph... etc" It really changed the whole atmosphere in the lecture room. Nobody saw him as being stupid (at least not me). It got me more alert. Like wow... its not everyday you hear someone say something like that.
Many times i try to defend myself when i'm being ridiculed of being dumb, blur or something. Well, actually it doesn't matter what other people think because many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Before i knew it, the sun was up and i had to drag myself out of bed. I felt so drained, lethargic. I commanded every single strength i had left in me, said a quick prayer, and glanced through one last time through all the work. I left home, hopped on the bus and arrived in sch abt 20mins earlier. Revised again and sat for the paper. I remained calm throughout the whole paper, no point panicking. Besides i think i don't have anymore energy left to panick.
Lecture was really "great" because i couldn't catch much of what she is trying to get to. Another session of ???? And there was this working adult in class who couldnt quite catch one part of what she was trying to say. So he interrupted her politely and said "I'm sorry for my stupidity, but regarding the graph... etc" It really changed the whole atmosphere in the lecture room. Nobody saw him as being stupid (at least not me). It got me more alert. Like wow... its not everyday you hear someone say something like that.
Many times i try to defend myself when i'm being ridiculed of being dumb, blur or something. Well, actually it doesn't matter what other people think because many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Don't give up!
Changed song... this song goes out to all who's feeling down. Don't frown... don't drown urself in tears of sorrow but dance.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their youth and wonder) (Where those years have gone)
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their youth and wonder) (Where those years have gone)
Saturday, January 21, 2006
knots in my heart
Was feeling troubled after blogging... so i walked around the house... it felt aimless... with a heavy heart, i sat in the sofa in the living room and stared blankly into the space. I guess that's the beauty of being alone. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I like to call it my silent freedom. Anyway, i don't get this kinda feeling often. Something was being impressed on my heart and mind. Somewhat disturbing... So i just sat there, praying praying praying... some friend's came to mind when i was praying... so i just prayed for their safety, protection and basically whole well being.
Went to church for practice... got the timing wrong. Think i suck at playing... UrgH dun even wanna think about it at this moment. Actually i dun even think about how i'm playing... until the very last song.. the jitters still get to me... '
Sent out birthday invitations to close friends i have over here. Actually, i don't really need a grand birthday party. I'm already blessed to have come this far... to have all i have right now... i'm grateful for the present and hopeful for the future.
Feeling alot better now, peaceful and all ready to Knock Out. 1 , 2, 3 and...Ding! ding! ding! She's out!
Food for thought: Samson was a strong man... and yet it was but a woman who brought down his downfall. The power of LOVE!
Went to church for practice... got the timing wrong. Think i suck at playing... UrgH dun even wanna think about it at this moment. Actually i dun even think about how i'm playing... until the very last song.. the jitters still get to me... '
Sent out birthday invitations to close friends i have over here. Actually, i don't really need a grand birthday party. I'm already blessed to have come this far... to have all i have right now... i'm grateful for the present and hopeful for the future.
Feeling alot better now, peaceful and all ready to Knock Out. 1 , 2, 3 and...Ding! ding! ding! She's out!
Food for thought: Samson was a strong man... and yet it was but a woman who brought down his downfall. The power of LOVE!
Drifting away
Feel lost when i got up today... slept at about 3am last night cause i wanted to finish up alittle mind map drawing i did. Can't say that i'm pleased with it because there's always room for improvement or maybe whatever i do never seems to be good enough.
In a world where beauty are under the eyes of scrutiny and where unconstructive criticisms and judgements are passed w/o thoughts... just look at the number of suicidal cases that are on the rise says it all. I remember a friend friend's taking pleasure in cutting herself, and yet another who seemed to have everything in life but took her life into her own hands. Who is to blame? The pressure and expectations of society?
We all have our pitfalls, we all make mistakes. Some more stupid than the others. But we're all imperfect human beings. So what's my point?
For those who want to give up in life, don't. There's still hope, because someone already died in our place. It's no longer i who live but Christ in me.
Sometimes, its the little actions and pleasures in life which makes all the differences.
Think i'm gonna get myself into a debate with myself at the rate i'm going. Shall stop here and find joy in the little simplicity of life.
In a world where beauty are under the eyes of scrutiny and where unconstructive criticisms and judgements are passed w/o thoughts... just look at the number of suicidal cases that are on the rise says it all. I remember a friend friend's taking pleasure in cutting herself, and yet another who seemed to have everything in life but took her life into her own hands. Who is to blame? The pressure and expectations of society?
We all have our pitfalls, we all make mistakes. Some more stupid than the others. But we're all imperfect human beings. So what's my point?
For those who want to give up in life, don't. There's still hope, because someone already died in our place. It's no longer i who live but Christ in me.
Sometimes, its the little actions and pleasures in life which makes all the differences.
Think i'm gonna get myself into a debate with myself at the rate i'm going. Shall stop here and find joy in the little simplicity of life.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Procrastinating
Today i took 1 hour to get out of bed! ah... the alarm clock rang at 7:15am... and i was only out of bed abt 8am. No excuses for getting up late. I only studied till 1am last night. So... that's more than enough sleep... and i was still sleepy even after i wash up and everything... tot of EVERYTHING to perk myself up in the morning.
1) Had cereal with chilled milk... didn't do the works... in fact it did the opposite!!!
2) Had an orange... which was cold... helped for awhile... and then it was back to sleep mode
3) Did jumping jacks... jump jump jump... almost awake....
4) psycho myself that its gonna be a great day to wake up and be alive... ha... by then i am already awake.
So... i have afew stuff to do today... decided on doing a detailed scan through each chapter because so far, my study of the chapters have all been sketchy. I'm not sure what i know and i'm not sure what i don't know. Gosh that almost sounds like i don't know anything!
Without wasting anymore time i got down to serious work. I have finished 2 comprehensive topics (comprising of 4 chapters) and there's another 3 more topics to go. Getting there... getting there... must keep this momentum going. Actually its also becoz i did a mock mid paper... and i almost didn't meet the mark. So... it got me worried quite abit. Its not a difficult paper... and it made me realise how much more effort i need to put in!
Gonna jot all those questions down... so i can present them in a systhematic way before the lecturer tomorrow... final day to clarify things with the teacher.
Besides studies... there has been quite afew things going on my mind. Birthdays... work... actually everything boils down to one thing... which is MOM!!! Yea... i am alittle nervous and uptight about her arrival. Cause i know she's got so much expectations from me... and there's this thing about her perspection on how i should be. Sometimes its all about what she wants... of course its for my good... but i wish sometimes she would cut me some slack. I already know what she'll say... haha... probably i already know my mom pretty well. I'm just gonna pray... and hope everything turns out well.
Alright... now its back to hitting the books. Oh wait a sec... i'm suppose to make it my best friend. Think it was a teacher who told me that. Must treat it like my boyfriend... spend time knowing it, understanding it, working out the problems...etc. Haha.. oke... i'm going to embrace this
"special relationship" now. Byeie... *Linda waves... ...
1) Had cereal with chilled milk... didn't do the works... in fact it did the opposite!!!
2) Had an orange... which was cold... helped for awhile... and then it was back to sleep mode
3) Did jumping jacks... jump jump jump... almost awake....
4) psycho myself that its gonna be a great day to wake up and be alive... ha... by then i am already awake.
So... i have afew stuff to do today... decided on doing a detailed scan through each chapter because so far, my study of the chapters have all been sketchy. I'm not sure what i know and i'm not sure what i don't know. Gosh that almost sounds like i don't know anything!
Without wasting anymore time i got down to serious work. I have finished 2 comprehensive topics (comprising of 4 chapters) and there's another 3 more topics to go. Getting there... getting there... must keep this momentum going. Actually its also becoz i did a mock mid paper... and i almost didn't meet the mark. So... it got me worried quite abit. Its not a difficult paper... and it made me realise how much more effort i need to put in!
Gonna jot all those questions down... so i can present them in a systhematic way before the lecturer tomorrow... final day to clarify things with the teacher.
Besides studies... there has been quite afew things going on my mind. Birthdays... work... actually everything boils down to one thing... which is MOM!!! Yea... i am alittle nervous and uptight about her arrival. Cause i know she's got so much expectations from me... and there's this thing about her perspection on how i should be. Sometimes its all about what she wants... of course its for my good... but i wish sometimes she would cut me some slack. I already know what she'll say... haha... probably i already know my mom pretty well. I'm just gonna pray... and hope everything turns out well.
Alright... now its back to hitting the books. Oh wait a sec... i'm suppose to make it my best friend. Think it was a teacher who told me that. Must treat it like my boyfriend... spend time knowing it, understanding it, working out the problems...etc. Haha.. oke... i'm going to embrace this
"special relationship" now. Byeie... *Linda waves... ...
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
It's getting harder to get out of bed
It's getting harder to get out of bed... harder to smile each day...
Nonetheless, i draw strength from the Him above. Got out of bed today pretty fast, had my favourite breakfast cereal and... got off on a gd start. Did my quiet time and... just pondered about afew stuff... obedience, sacrifice and inadequacy. Tot about it in a bus ride to sch earlier on. That's one thing i like about the buses... no Mobile TV... peace and quiet... i miss the quietness and the time to just think through things on the bus amidst all the hustle and bustle...
Studied quite abit... did afew questions here and there... did those easier ones first.. confidence booster... then later shall tackle the harder ones.
I already gone through on the lecture slides... which is terribly insufficient.. so have to couple it with plenty of readings... and the readings can get you so confused. Feel rather suffocated now, hence i'm blogging. Yea... plus i'm taking time out to take care of little sister... she's having abit of trouble getting a job.. ( i told her more than once to start searching early.. ). Well getting a job to her liking sure aint easy... anyway... i've combed out afew job positions and just sent it over to her. Hopefully she'll land a job which has gd boss and gd pay plus gd experience and gd colleagues. I'll just do alittle guiding here and there... the rest is really up to her. My job is to give her options... she'll have to choose and make the most of what is before her.
I think its been a pretty tough time for her... becoz... i'm no longer there right beside her. I'm gonna allow her to take afew falls... just so that she'll learn from them... it'll make her stronger.. some things can't be taught.. must be experienced.
CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING!! haha.. what do i think of when i think of CNY... i think of friends, loads of fun, chinese delicacies, family, holiday, hong baos and the colour RED!!!
Hmm.. i wonder if i'll get to lo hei here... giggles... lo hei is always such a fun event with my family... we lo (high high). It's the only chance to play with food without getting scolded! I just love the crackers that go with it.
Not really in the mood for CNY though... now i think of CNY i think of exam.. work... there aint no holiday. ANyway, my mom is coming down around that time... just so that she can celebrate my birthday with me... check things out... and hopefully she'll be nice and not naggy. Abit worried she'll say that i'm not doing my best or something... it can be really hard to reach her expectations... given no room for mistakes. Got to be more careful and hardworking. Pull up my socks! Got to wake up and get out there... got afew things i'm worried about... but.. we'll see how everything works out... i'm keeping the faith... keeping the hope... keeping the fire in me alive...
Nonetheless, i draw strength from the Him above. Got out of bed today pretty fast, had my favourite breakfast cereal and... got off on a gd start. Did my quiet time and... just pondered about afew stuff... obedience, sacrifice and inadequacy. Tot about it in a bus ride to sch earlier on. That's one thing i like about the buses... no Mobile TV... peace and quiet... i miss the quietness and the time to just think through things on the bus amidst all the hustle and bustle...
Studied quite abit... did afew questions here and there... did those easier ones first.. confidence booster... then later shall tackle the harder ones.
I already gone through on the lecture slides... which is terribly insufficient.. so have to couple it with plenty of readings... and the readings can get you so confused. Feel rather suffocated now, hence i'm blogging. Yea... plus i'm taking time out to take care of little sister... she's having abit of trouble getting a job.. ( i told her more than once to start searching early.. ). Well getting a job to her liking sure aint easy... anyway... i've combed out afew job positions and just sent it over to her. Hopefully she'll land a job which has gd boss and gd pay plus gd experience and gd colleagues. I'll just do alittle guiding here and there... the rest is really up to her. My job is to give her options... she'll have to choose and make the most of what is before her.
I think its been a pretty tough time for her... becoz... i'm no longer there right beside her. I'm gonna allow her to take afew falls... just so that she'll learn from them... it'll make her stronger.. some things can't be taught.. must be experienced.
CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING!! haha.. what do i think of when i think of CNY... i think of friends, loads of fun, chinese delicacies, family, holiday, hong baos and the colour RED!!!
Hmm.. i wonder if i'll get to lo hei here... giggles... lo hei is always such a fun event with my family... we lo (high high). It's the only chance to play with food without getting scolded! I just love the crackers that go with it.
Not really in the mood for CNY though... now i think of CNY i think of exam.. work... there aint no holiday. ANyway, my mom is coming down around that time... just so that she can celebrate my birthday with me... check things out... and hopefully she'll be nice and not naggy. Abit worried she'll say that i'm not doing my best or something... it can be really hard to reach her expectations... given no room for mistakes. Got to be more careful and hardworking. Pull up my socks! Got to wake up and get out there... got afew things i'm worried about... but.. we'll see how everything works out... i'm keeping the faith... keeping the hope... keeping the fire in me alive...
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Updates Updates!!!
Yea... i know... i havent been blogging for a very very long time. There has been just tons of things happening that i don't really know where to start.
Well let's start off with Christmas... my dad and my sis extended their stay... and celebrated this christmas with me. Am very grateful and happy. I just enjoy their company. So the Christmas that i envisioned that i would have a month ago was totally different as the actualy Christmas day itself. It was pack with laughter, joyful, thankfulness and warm. It was meaningful, just something very different from the christmas i have back in Singapore. Nonetheless, i still miss you guys, yes... you guys still hold a very special place in my heart. Yup, and... there is this church friend of mine, he taught me how to play this game called snatch! You have to be good in your vocab to play in this game. coz its just MIND BOGGLING. yep... really enjoyed their company... it was just so pure, warm and fuzzy.
After Christmas comes New YEar, by this time, dad and sis has already head back to singapore. And... i'm left to celebrate New Year with my own group of friends. BTW, their all older than me... some graduated already, others working full time... or left one more semester. But it has been great to be with them. Interesting insights and perspectives... there was alot of sharing done. Like how has 2005 been for each one of us, and our resolutions of 2006. Very eventful, very meaningful. There's just this bonding that i had with all of them... where we just were so comfortable of letting others know of our true colours and all. Like the ice has been finally broken. You know... relationships such as friendships don't just form overnight. And, i'm just glad that i've gotten to know them better in a personal way.
Right... and after New Year i start work... grr... this one is ugly. Coz the lady boss posted me to their new outlet, which is WAY busier than the old outlet. Not that i'm not capable of handling many customers at a time. It's just that the guy boss didn't tell me where he placed all the items, and didn't tell me about the new pricing. He just expected me to pick it up *snap snap like that! URGH... the first day was terrible. He say "Linda! ni kan! you na me duo ren ni hai na me man!!!" and when i ask him where he put the stuff he say "ni yao zhi zi kan zhi zi zao ah!" Really wanted to stuff my shoes into his mouth. And it's not like their paying me alot! UNDERPAId and OVERWORK. Yup, confirm gonna look for a new job. It's just that i've given them my word that i'll work for them in summer... so have to keep to it. Linda is a woman of her words.
Right... but this coming week, the lady boss has posted me back to the old outlet. Reason is becoz there is gonna be some competition and they have to be really on their toes. They really see their customers as gold. Cannot lose a single business to anyone. Must be first.
There is another shop where there are seats for customer to seat and eat. and its just beside the new outlet. like really side by side. So... there'll be tight competition. Got to be quick fast and excellent in all they do if they want to earn more $$$$. So... lady boss going back to help out. GOOD FOR ME... haha... i can't wait to go back old store... get my freedom back. IT SUCKS to have the boss at ur back watching every single step... and if u make a itcy bitcy minor mistake... WHAM!!! Unreasonable bosses are the last thing u want when ur working...
This coming week, my summer course starts. Alittle bit uptight about it coz i dunno how its gonna work out. Argh... abit clustophobic... just have to trust the hand of God... cause i know He will lead me through all obstacles... yup. Here's a glimpse of afew pictures of me, my sis and dad during their memoriable stay here.
Well let's start off with Christmas... my dad and my sis extended their stay... and celebrated this christmas with me. Am very grateful and happy. I just enjoy their company. So the Christmas that i envisioned that i would have a month ago was totally different as the actualy Christmas day itself. It was pack with laughter, joyful, thankfulness and warm. It was meaningful, just something very different from the christmas i have back in Singapore. Nonetheless, i still miss you guys, yes... you guys still hold a very special place in my heart. Yup, and... there is this church friend of mine, he taught me how to play this game called snatch! You have to be good in your vocab to play in this game. coz its just MIND BOGGLING. yep... really enjoyed their company... it was just so pure, warm and fuzzy.
After Christmas comes New YEar, by this time, dad and sis has already head back to singapore. And... i'm left to celebrate New Year with my own group of friends. BTW, their all older than me... some graduated already, others working full time... or left one more semester. But it has been great to be with them. Interesting insights and perspectives... there was alot of sharing done. Like how has 2005 been for each one of us, and our resolutions of 2006. Very eventful, very meaningful. There's just this bonding that i had with all of them... where we just were so comfortable of letting others know of our true colours and all. Like the ice has been finally broken. You know... relationships such as friendships don't just form overnight. And, i'm just glad that i've gotten to know them better in a personal way.
Right... and after New Year i start work... grr... this one is ugly. Coz the lady boss posted me to their new outlet, which is WAY busier than the old outlet. Not that i'm not capable of handling many customers at a time. It's just that the guy boss didn't tell me where he placed all the items, and didn't tell me about the new pricing. He just expected me to pick it up *snap snap like that! URGH... the first day was terrible. He say "Linda! ni kan! you na me duo ren ni hai na me man!!!" and when i ask him where he put the stuff he say "ni yao zhi zi kan zhi zi zao ah!" Really wanted to stuff my shoes into his mouth. And it's not like their paying me alot! UNDERPAId and OVERWORK. Yup, confirm gonna look for a new job. It's just that i've given them my word that i'll work for them in summer... so have to keep to it. Linda is a woman of her words.
Right... but this coming week, the lady boss has posted me back to the old outlet. Reason is becoz there is gonna be some competition and they have to be really on their toes. They really see their customers as gold. Cannot lose a single business to anyone. Must be first.
There is another shop where there are seats for customer to seat and eat. and its just beside the new outlet. like really side by side. So... there'll be tight competition. Got to be quick fast and excellent in all they do if they want to earn more $$$$. So... lady boss going back to help out. GOOD FOR ME... haha... i can't wait to go back old store... get my freedom back. IT SUCKS to have the boss at ur back watching every single step... and if u make a itcy bitcy minor mistake... WHAM!!! Unreasonable bosses are the last thing u want when ur working...
This coming week, my summer course starts. Alittle bit uptight about it coz i dunno how its gonna work out. Argh... abit clustophobic... just have to trust the hand of God... cause i know He will lead me through all obstacles... yup. Here's a glimpse of afew pictures of me, my sis and dad during their memoriable stay here.
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