Messed up

My head is churning... but i feel somewhat assured.

I leave u with a poem

Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them. The point is to live everything.
Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually without even notcing it live your way into your answers...

of course this poem is flawed in one way or another...

From afar... ...

Haven't met her for 6 years due to distance. It was great to meet up with her again! Good to know that all is fine with her. Individuals all have struggles in life. I'm not alone. It was great to be out shopping and all... wish there was more chance of having such meet ups.

Work has been tiring with lots of overtime. It kills the joy of working when you have to work for very long hours. No social life. It gets daunting like lost my social skills or something along those lines. I get so tired each day, perhaps i should evaluate my reasons for living. Thankfully God has placed people like Gary, a few of my friends and family members who have been supportive. I do get blue... sometimes black.

I relate my feelings to clouds. Sometimes i turn grey, and pour (teary). Sometimes, bright and cheery. Its the unloading of burden and cares of the world. Its hard to stand out, in fear of being put down. Rejection, criticism and being reprimanded, i believe those are all part of life. Learning to deal with them can often be an emotional uphill. But i won't give up... will keep trying to be better. Improve on what i am lacking in.

I miss being free... ... ...