Breeze

Life here is definitely different as compared to Singapore. The experience i had with friends and family in Singapore are nothing compared to being here. Maybe i was trying to find peopple who were very much Singapore. It's like running away from a problem instead of facing up to it. I attended my first few lecturers this week only to be really lost and confused by them. The theories are so different and the how each topic was taught was enough to throw me off the track. Its not going to be a breeze like i tot... fat hope. But i aint gonna give up... not until i've graduated... no way. I've come this far... not to be despair, but to be challenged. So the challenge has been thrown at me.. I know that God will somehow see me through this. Work hard... although this has only been the first week of lecture... i'm not gonna lay back. Off to work... ... and more work to be done.

No pain no gain! Haha... think that is suppose to be for exercising but oh well... i think it applies perfectly to work too... if you don't toil... you can't achieve. Of course... there is the study smart thingy. To study smart.

Thanks tiff and kenneath... you guys are the best... i thank the Lord for friends like you. And... of course i should not take you guys for granted. I do cherish every conversation we have. Thanks once again. I'll let you know of how i'm coming to soon....

Anyway... think i shld add some juicy stuff to this blog... today when i got back to my apartment... there was this guy who was sitting and staring at me!!! As it was sth like 9pm in the nite, i was very scared. I didnt dare open the door to enter the apartment. I made a U turn and walked to the coffee club near my house. I sat ard... and realised he had the password to enter the front door... perhaps he forgot his keys?

Anyway it was getting late and... i cant just stand there forever...So i said a quick prayer... jumped into the lift and closed the door. Phew nothing happened... well... if i ever in a situation as such... i will call my flatmate to come get me... it was sure dangerous!

How do i start?

Tears are unavoidable... they just flow automatically... and my uncertainty of things just increases by the minute... my face and expressions refuses to reveal my inner most feelings... they just give everything away. No... i must be strong... the tears must stop. But i cant help feeling the way i'm feeling without friends and so many cost to face alone.

This sounds pathetic... sounds like a typcial case of someone trying to cope with cultural shock. So it is.... it has only been my first day... how to live like normal. My values don't seem to sink in with the environment. I refuse to let anything change the values God has set before me. Liberal or watever... my stand remains the same... NO i cannot be laid back... take everything easy going..take everything for granted... heehee haha... no... Singapore is not like that... everything is time... efficiency. Time waits for no man. I take that as my motto.

I need alot of friends here...
Gonna need them to talk with, play with, motivate and encourage each other... so far.. i cant say i have any... i feel like i'm starting a whole new life... without a history of my own. I feel a lost of identity... the me in Singapore i love and miss so dearly... where i can freely walk on the streets without fear of lost. It's different over here... tat's all i can say. I cannot do alot of things i wanna do as i did in the past... i wanna run and hide for awhile. this reality is too harsh for me to bear alone. I need help... but is help along the way? Where is help to be found.... where?