The choices that are made

I was looking through friendster... found another long lost friend. We were in the same class in primary school, can't remember if we ever spoke. But, she was a prominent girl, cannot be missed becoz she's super tall. In secondary school, she was prefect, but i never spoke to her. Can't believe that she still remembers me... i always know that she is smart, with a very strong distinctive facial features. So she has now made it in the modelling world, saw her portfolio... astonished and shocked, she was almost naked in some pictures. Is this what she really wants? Is this what living is all about? Doing what we really want? Pursuing our own dreams? Taking chances?

It is a constant stuggle to merge both spiritual life and reality together. There used to be a clear cut in both areas. The cut was so clear.. that it almost seemed like i was having two totally different personalities live in one world until, until, he tore down the very things i thought were important, my life has never been so transparent... to the point of agreeing that my life was actually empty... so empty that it is worthless... and though i'm so worthless, he saw me as a precious daughter, called me his very own child and gave up his own son just so that i am given another chance.

There's nothing wrong with being a model.. but at least retain some self dignity! I don't agree with the path your taking. Sometimes, black is black, white is white... its just like lies.. there's no such things as white lies... you must be thinking... that's harsh. But how can you say black is the same as grey? The world has turned things that are so wrong to things that appear not so wrong. Like a girl is a girl, and a boy is a boy, yet the world has turned it upside down. With bisexuals, transexual... you don't know what is what. Simple logic... something so simple and so beautiful have been tarnished in our very own hands.

There's too many issues in this world. I cannot comprehend. It pains me so... just to see friends going in so many wrong directions. Maybe one has to go through darkness so that one can understand and embrace the light. There's choices to be made in life... and every choice we make has consequences. Which door to open? Matt 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." We don't have to make the choices cause we don't know what is behind the door... but He knows. So why not trust and let him do the leading? (Easier said than done...)

Many times in a battle, I draw out my sword to fight, forgetting that this is not my battle but God's alone.