The Difference

Yesterday i really was tired out... Singaporeans usually call this zooked out.

It was a whole day of church activities. Games to be precise. Its a event to merge the sec 4s to the YF. Hmm.. i must say i have forgotten how games are conducted in GMC. Very dirty, very imaginative.

I wonder why i always get injured in games. Sobs. There was this game where heads were turning round and round at each other an d a fellow church member knocked his head onto mine. Mind you he is quite a well built fellow with a head that seems to be armoured. When it collided with my head.. ouch

But thankfully God was there throughout. Made some new friends with the much younger generations. LoL

Missing In Action

Today didn't go for church service in the morning becoz of wedding lunch.
First wedding lunch really... heehee... but its the same as wedding dinner... have to wait.
REally glad to meet up with everyone in Aust. Although the ambience is different, but i knew that the heart was the same... maybe we all head in different direction but...as long as God is in our life, i suppose in one way or another, we connect!

After that head off to Gary's friends place. Wasn't exactly spontaneous... maybe coz i'm tired? I dunno... but as long as G is happy, i guess i can share his joy as well.

THere was this auntie who stared at us at the bus stop. Its that kind of DISGRACEFUL stare.... goodness knows what she is thinking. SHe stare at us, shake her head in disgust and then STARE again!!! I was so uncomfortable and frustrated. That auntie ah... .. xiao ah.

Feeling out of place... but.. i'm still glad to have my sister. I love her to bits.

Something seems to be mssing. I dunno what's the missing link now... will pray about it.

HAve been missing in action in church as well. I never knew anyone would miss me at all... ... ...
surprise surprise. Surprise pple will miss someone as low profile as me.

There is a Blessed Home...

So many things about home that needs to change.

Everything at home looks rather worn. Plenty of things needs cleaning up. Everything seems so cluttered and untidy.

Oh there's much to do. I spring cleaned my wardrobe today (just part of it actually). Tons of clothes to be donated. I always try to persuade my mother to give them or throw them away. But she never seems to listen. She didn't listen to me 1.5 yrs ago, she didn't listen when she came to visit me in Aust. what makes me think she'll listen to me now? I guess... even this needs prayer... that she'll open her eyes and see my understanding and desperate need for space.

I have not unpacked my luggage yet. It's been... 2 days since i'm back... becoz there's so much clearing and tidying to do... so much more than i have expected... i never think that things would wear itself out that quickly... i hope to complete it just in time for Christmas. It's just 6 days away. It'll be nice to have a clean tidy home.

Been chatting alot with my sister. I really thank God for her. Just her presence and the understanding that we have. It's as though we never left each other side. I can still read her mind, she still respects me and appreciates me alot. Which is... GREAT! She is so supportive and encouraging at the same time. She doesn't seem to mind my whinings and complains. It's so wonderfully to be accepted not just for the things that you are good at, but for your flaws as well.

Hopefully in the midst of the cleaning, i will be able to catch up with friends. R is just wonderful... the first person to welcome me through SMS. R SMS my Aust mobile no. Cost 50cents i think... but nonetheless... R remembered i was back! And... although i felt bewildered... that made me feel so welcomed... alittle sense of belonging.... ...

I havent' really got time to reflect or think and make plans (besides cleaning the whole house). Everything else is on hold at the moment. I went to G's church... its really different. It's just a different group of people with different views.

Lots of time was spent with my family and G during this past 2 days. But now... its the weekday so i think i'll just spend time doing spring cleaning. Hopefully can do meet ups by Friday...

It's MAJOR house cleaning this week... think i might even need to buy those masks coz this place is really dusty. I need to have a cosy home to return everyday. Yes... CLean Warm and fUzzy with happy members of the family. Hope that will all come through by the end of this week. Even this needs time effort and prayer... ...

Been trying to adapt to the weather... still not used to things around here...

so much of home sweet home...

Landed in MelBourNe

Yay... i have safely arrived at Melbourne. Been up and about since yst. COmparing it with Sydney, Melbourne is less chaotic but the weather is absolutely crazy! It's really hot on one day and freezing cold the next. Currently, the weather here is cold.

Been trying to figure out why i feel so lost at times. Perhaps its the conversations. Back in Brisbane, it was more courteous and thoughtful. Always wanting to know how other people are doing. Over here, its about boosting your own ego, show that you are of higher class. Or maybe its just me. Just been having bad brushes with M now adays. Why? argh... not sure what's up. Maybe this was how it was like all along... ... ... if so, i must have forgotten how it was like.

Generally, i want to get back to Singapore, meet G and my siblings. Not so sure how i'm gonna intergrate back with my church people. So many changes. Not so sure how i will fit in, but a friend of mine told me that i really have got nothing to worry about. PErhaps he's right. Friends in church aren't the focus in church. More so, God should be the focus. *shrugs*

Must let God lead.... I know that most of the times, i will not like the plan God has laid out for me. So often i will want to choose my own path, my own walk. But obedience is better than sacrifice. God never shows the ultimate beauty of his plan till the end. Still learning to surrender and submit everything to God, stay firm and positive despite all the ugly rumours and disheartening remarks. God is good.... all the time.

Must thank those who prayed for me. THose who showed concern and care for me. Thank you...
with a heart full of thanksgving, i thank the Lord for putting you into my life.

Wanna Go Home?

Home? Home?

where is Home? I've been travelling around Sydney the past few days. Happy, unhappy events during this short period of time.

In Sydney, it's alot more busier, livelier... very much like Singapore. Cars honking at each other... the crowds. This is what Singapore is gonna be like...

Went to church here. Dad said its similar to back home, but sadly, i couldn't connect. Ended up criticising this that that this. Shops are different, staffs are not courteous or as helpful as brisbane. I got a headache just standing in the midst of the crowds.

I cried quite abit today. had a bad brush with Mom. Things are just.... not the same. I miss friends back in brisbane. I just want to have the space i once had, the freedom i once had. Perhpas its time to start making plans to go back to Brisbane in future. Or maybe... all i need is abit of help, abit more time and alot of prayers and encouragement.

Perhaps...perhaps... perhaps