I CAN SWIM!!!

Swimming Lesson One

Today is my second day of leave. So far i've been doing alot of exericising cause i'm really out of shape. First day of leave i went for a little run, only to discover how pathetic i am. Run one two rounds and i was panting like a dog. Heart pounding like one who's about to have an heart attack. And i'm only in my early 20's!!!

Anyway, Today my boyfriend was my swimming instructor. I've always had a phobia of the swimming pool and stuff since i was a little girl. So my instructor of the past used to call me a cry baby. He was really stern and i didn't take it very well. It was because of him that everytime i see the swimming pool i feel queasy. But believe me, i really do want to learn how to swim. To get me into the pool alone is a challenge itself. Got to slowly warm up to being in the pool. Take today for example. My boyfriend had to hear me whine for an hour or so being in the pool and all. But he was really nice and patient with me. I wanted to learn the breast stroke, because in the past my instructor taught me breast stroke but because he kept pushing me, and eventually i just dropped out. I wanted to overcome my fear, and challenge myself. When i first showed him (Gary) what i know in the pool, he laughed cause my legs were freestyle but my hands were breast stroke style. Ok. Laugh.. i know funny right. The starting of the lesson was hard for me as i struggled to do the kicks correctly and not be afraid. It was pouring too but we carried on cause no thunder. He was determined to teach me. Think i make it as his most whiny kid he's ever taught. Plus i am the oldest too!!! *shame*shame* He also thought me how to breathe, blow bubbles and stuff. Oh and one more thing, i've NEVER swim in a public pool all my life. This is my first time. It was not very crowded and dirty as i thought it would be. *smiles* Although i still can't swim properly, i certainly do hope i can swim. The breathing is tough, and man is swimming one lap tiring. Think swimming exercises the lungs more than anything else. *bloop*bloop*I drank chlorine through the mouth and nose. I am so excited to go swimming again. Although i think it is v.tedious. Must bring swimming costume, goggles, towel, sunblock and swimming cap (which i have yet to buy). Unlike running, just put on socks and shoes can run already. Yup, hope this big girl can swim one lap one day.

Surprise + Shock

WEll well... Gary came back on the 17th!!!! (sat)

ANd he told me he will be back on the 18th! (sun)

I just finised church at abt 10pm at church and was making my way back home with my sis when suddenly a car with a handsome long haired man called out to me! I turned and my mind was completely blanked. The first word that came to my mind? NOOOOooOOO!!!!

Followed by: It couldn't be!!! How can it be!!! Oh WAIT! TOday is sat or sun?!

His car happened to be behind my CGL's car.. so my CGL was shocked as well. What? Linda has a bf? Oke.. i didn't tell her lah.. so she was kinda upset the following Sun.

But i was kinda touched. To be surprised and showered with love and gifts.

Yesterday had a half day off. It's so good not to think abt work or work OT... there should be more days as such. Less work but more pay!!

Confession Time

Just got back from church...

For the first time, i am actually helping out in Junior Youth. In particular the sec 3s coming sec 4s.. erm.. its a struggle for me definitely because i feel so little. What i know of the Lord, is just like that... its not much. I felt awkward and in fact, i felt like i was being analysed by the young ones. It didn't help much that i was so burdened in my heart. During the 2nd service, my heart was just wondering, i mean i know pastor was teaching on Titus. But my heart was very burdended and here's why...

Friday i over-reacted at work. And, i caused alot of pple to be worried and unhappy. My boyfriend, my colleague and my boss. Looking back, i feel that it was stupid for me to have done what i've done. I only knew i was angry and was more concerned about my issue than others. I mean you know when somebody push u, i don't think you will go and hug the person. Rather u will want to push him back. And, i think that was what i did and maybe abit worse. Very burdened about Monday how my colleagues look at me and judge me for who i am. I feel broken inside and not myself the past few days. I don't know how.. or what to do next.

Just want to thank AMadea my closest church friend for praying for me. For my heart to really forgive and to have the wisdom to amend the broken r/s at work.

This Thursday, Jean and myself will be bringing the girls out to like bond with them. I also don't know how i'll fit in. Hope work on Thursday don't drag me down.

Right now i feel very vunerable becoz of the dumb thing i did at work and becoz i really want to give my best shot for God in this service. Soo.. praying he'll work through my weaknesses... and that even though my knowledge of the bible is only so little, that i can still share sth that can stick to their hearts and carry them through throughout their lives.

Emails take up so much time... ... ...

Is someone irritating calling you?

http://www.sorrygottago.com/

The perfect excuse.

What's your stand?

The heated topic now...

Is regarding the law regarding gays.

There's so much buzz about it. If you're bored, i know you'll be bound to be entertained by the below websites.

www.keep377a.com and www.repeal377a.com

What's your stand?

I know what's mine

Quote of the day

When it comes to money issues, emotions often cloud our perceptions.

Blogging in the office?

Haha, yea... finished lunch early today so decided to blog a thing or two before i start.



A few things happening upcoming week.



Have this performance management thing. And i am so tempted to rate myself excellent in everything! But of course... there's always room for improvement. So hope my boss will give me a good rating too!

Gary's having exam's soon and he's not feeling too confident about it. Alot of prayers and encouragement.

Ting Ting who used to work like under the same umbrella as me left her job. Thankfully she's found a better one and in a short time too! Kinda happy for her. She sounded like she's really happy in this new envrionment in the sms she sent me. May she continue to excel in whatever she endeavours to do. Hope that i'll get to meet up again to chit chat with her soon...


Tonight i'm going to KTV!!! And Sing ONE Night in Beijing and... Gei wo yi bei wang qing shui in the most outah voice! Heehee... strictly no ear plugs allowed. K gonna get back to work!
Ting Ting my

This world is not my home, I'm just passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from Heaven's open doorAnd I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

Chorus

O Lord you know I have no friend like youIf Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?The angels beckon me from Heaven's open doorAnd I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

They're all expecting me and that's one thing I know.My Savior pardoned me and now I onward go.I know He'll take me through, though I am weak and poor.

Just up in Glory Land we'll live eternally.The Saints on every hand are shouting victory.Their song of sweetest praise drifts back from Heaven's shoreAnd I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

Overdue Entries

I know there are some pictures that are overdue….
It’s been months since I last did an entry.

Without much further ado, I present the first OD 1 (Over Due).

Celebrating... Ting Ting and Phillip's birthday!!!

What TCC stands for... ...

And finally, the cakes!!! Think the last time i had cakes like that were way back in Aussie. Ya... i'm so deprived of cheese cakes. They're both chocolate cakes. I think i like the one on the right best... cause is like oreo cake? Very light and gentle on the taste buds. The little cheeries look pretty on the cake but do not be mistaken this mean little cheeries are really sour! It sorts of burst in ur mouth when u chew on it. Very juicy. Two thumbs up for the cake! Great choice Carol And Pei Jun!

Next OD 2...

Pooh Bear, Winnie the Pooh Bear.


Boss got pretty little mouse pads for me and two other gals. I know its just a mouse pad.. nothing to be exactly excited about. But my desk is really dull and boring! And a little bright mouse pad brightened my day alittle bit.









Last and final OD for the day, The Lee Wee & Brothers.

One long serving colleague has decided to leave.. as she needed a job which doesn't bound her to the office all day long. Well 17 years for a company is really a long time! She decided to treat everybody to a lunch treat instead of just the normal curry puffs or cakes. Well check the packaging out dudes!!!!!








It is like SO CUTE!!! I went AiiYOOOoOOO !!!
And it taste pretty good too! Want to find out more? You can check their website out!

You've heard me sing that song a million times
The tune, the melody, the lyrics that rhymes
Have you seen the question in my eyes?

I've spoken words and exchanged a sentence or two
expressing and hoping you'll understand me too
Have you seen the heart that sighs?

Pictures you show can speak a thousand words
You want the world to know that you're powered
with Riches and Wealth, all is but an empty shell.

Just felt like penning something really complicated. I think its nice to imagine a good life as one of comfort. A leather seat posh convertible car. Ur shades and credit cards. The coolest funkiest music played in your car. Giving your friends for a ride. In a pub sharing a few laughs. Great grades and sitting in a leather massage chair in the privacy of your own office and space. People knocking at your door for your signature of approval. Name cards that spell out Very Important Person. Priviledge cards, special treatment. Coming home with a garage to park your car. A maid to serve you with dishes hot and yummy. Lighting made of spotlights or maybe crystle chandelier's.

It all sounds really grand, marvellous and splendid.

I once thought it was great too. But its all a fake! It's not great at all. I know deep down inside there's MUCH MUCH more things that are more precious than these 'worldly desires'.Some times its the simple things of life that makes me happy. Forget about all of it. I just want to head down to the market and sip my tea and eat my roti prata. Spend time with my family and God. You don't have to wait for years or for your bank account to increase 10 folds to have a beautiful life. You can start having one... now.

Educating the Educated

What's happening in the market today? Isn't the Singapore economy booming? Is it not bullish? What has the US sub prime mortgage got to do with us?

Well... here's alittle of my 2cents worth of understanding.

Basically the capital crisis in Wall Street is causing a stir in the markets as everybody is faced with a liquidity crunch.

Q. What is a liquidity squeeze and why should I care if the Wall Street banks are having troubles?

In periods of liquidity, there is plenty of trading, and big institutional buyers and sellers easily move into and out of stocks, bonds and other instruments. But during a 'liquidity crisis' the big banks get nervous about risk and become more cautious about doing deals and making trades. They're less likely to extend the easy credit that has fuelled the economy in the past few years, and that makes it more difficult to match buyers with sellers. That is what happened to markets around the world on Thursday.

The fallout from a liquidity crunch causes a ripple effect. The most immediate impact is that loans could become harder to get. But troubles can spread to the wider economy, hurting people's investments and endangering their long-term financial plans. If banks are not lending and no one will extend credit to anyone else, markets seize up and economic growth disappears.

Q. Why are these big firms so easily affected?
Major financial institutions can absorb hefty losses without toppling. However, liquidity concerns cause institutions to become reluctant to lend money to other banks. Loans between banks on an overnight basis, one of the primary ways they fund their operations, have become more expensive as concerns arise about their ability to repay the loans - and that forces costs up.
Banks also bring debt offerings to the market on behalf of their clients. But if investors are reluctant to buy them, many times the banks will be left holding the debt.

Q: How do central banks inject money into the economy?
As an example, the Federal Reserve carried out a US$12 billion one-day repurchase agreement and a US$12 billion 14-day repurchase agreement. In a repurchase agreement, or 'repo', the Fed arranges to buy securities from dealers, who then deposit the money the Fed has paid them into commercial banks.
The cash infusion adds stability to the market, and fosters more buying and increased cash reserves. When the banks get this unexpected windfall of deposits, it increases their confidence that there is enough money to fund operations and make trades.

Q. I thought this was an American problem. What's the deal with Europe, and should we be worried about China and Asia too?
The sub-prime mortgage mess might be a problem in the US as risky borrowers default on their loans and banks become increasingly shy about offering credit. But it impacts European and Asian players who invest heavily in bonds and other products made up of pools of mortgages.
European investors were said to be heavily involved in two hedge funds operated by Bear Stearns that are now bankrupt after bad sub-prime bets. The announcement by BNP Paribas that it was blocking investors from taking their money out of some mortgage-exposed funds raised the spectre of a widening impact of US credit market problems.
These high-yield investments have been attractive because they offered big returns, and that caught the interest of investors globally.

Q. Aren't the bad sub-prime loans contained, and what kind of impact would this have for regular Americans if they're not?
Defaults in the US$2.6 trillion sub-prime mortgage market have caused many homeowners to lose their homes, while scores of others have reined in spending to keep on top of their payments. There has been some indication that fears about the housing industry have caused borrowers to watch their wallets. And that's evident in the US economy, with retailers reporting sluggish sales figures in July.

reference from BusinessTimes.Aug 11

New Factor, New Phase

Alot of things have been happening recently, so much that i think i've got to pen it down.

Well, first or all church has a new cool place just for hang outs. Nice informal place to invite pple down to sit, chill, catch a movie and reach out to pple in a much more personal way.

Its been quite awhile since i last stayed home stoning on a Saturday. Well i did that for quite a while cause i was feeling grumpy. And yes, i have let myself be irritated by very slight issues. There are some stuff which bothers me alot. Like I don't like to miss calls, cause it gets me all jittery. Its a super tricky issue! Cause i am a lazy person who does not like to carry my handphone around. And i am so upset that i miss a very important call 13 times!!!!! Will somebody please provide me a solution!

My mother is a special person in my life. Sometimes she bugs me (for my own good she claims) and other times she just overly sweet (till sometimes i wonder if its a dream). Come Monday is her 54th birthday. I've got her pressie months back and now i'm just procrascinating in doing up the birthday banner for her. Its hard to get things done when u're slump at home. There's this new phase coming up in her life. Whether its good or bad i'm not too sure. But i'll try to be as supportive as i can.

Work environment has changed drastically. It's hard to walk around without bumping into a chair. I don't know. Sigh* It's just hard for me to accept such changes. Maybe its just me.

I so wanna go out today. I kept asking my sister let's go out. It's 8:30pm ad i'm still at home. I want to go out for a breather... but Gary is like in Brisbane and... having coffee with Unicell. So i know i'm blabbering right now. Just hope that i won't blabber away till he gets upset with me later.

I think i really need a holiday. A 2 day breakaway period would be great... oh... the urge of getting that MC is so tempting. Will somebody please wake me up!!

The never ending issues and problems of this world

The above pictures were taken during the bintan mission trip that i went. It was a very thought provoking trip for me.

3 cheers to desert. A very sumptuous yummy desert one could take comfort in. Hmm.. all that sweetness just takes ur mind off those troublesome issues in life.

Haha.. yes... there's nothing like sharing a lovely break and chilling out with a couple of friends. Hope to catch up again with them some time soon!!!

A day slightly better than usual.

got a SURPRISE email today. Gary emailed me this really encouraging email. Was feeling down but was reminded of the love of God. It perked me up and got me going faster than usual. Thanks dear.

I finished worked quickly. And was happy to leave work earlier than usual. Dad picked me up from office to home. Kinda hit me what a lovely dad i have. Like hey i'm 22 and i'm working and my dad stills fetch me home. Like i'm blessed to have a dad. And consider the times where my mother brought me to eat at restaurants and pamper me with clothes and everything i ever need. Thank you ma, thank you pa.

Because everyday is a fresh new experience... we have to always depend on God for guidiance

Timely advice, gentle reminder

Good news, i have survived the week that was w/o colleague C. Commenting about work, i feel i'm more confident with what i'm doing. Just pray i'll stick to the job and follow through each and every procedure. Today is slow moving which provides a great opportunity to ask myself afew questions, evaluate and make the change.

I dunno about all my other friends working out there like how are they doing cause i don't have much interaction with them. It wasn't like the past where we all lived in close proximity. I miss Uni friends alot. Wish i can talk to them some time soon. Boss has been pretty harsh with her performance evaluation and, as this was my first i was deeply hurt by what she said. It could have been phrased better with more human understanding. Harsh as it is, i will take it and pray about it. There are things to be thankful about even at a time as such for a job, colleagues who hear and church friends who comfort.

Working brings alot of issues with regards to money. It's a sensitive issue and requires lots of understanding and discipline. Right now where Singapore economy sets to look bright by many financial consultants, many do not flinch when it comes to investing. Be it the property market or the shares market. Many are eager to cash in and be part of the hype. I too have fallen victim with me realising my headaches and many times even heartaches are drawn from financial issues. All that hype took charge of my thinking and perspective, forgetting that many pleasures in life will never be earned with monetary gains. Friendship, trust, respect, love from family, knowledge, time... etc. The timely advice and gentle reminder from pastor made me ashamed. Though i cannot assuredly say i am now changed, i have to say its a constant reminder and struggle for me to stay more human, and vigilant to what is being echoed by the media and the majority.

Drained till its all dry....

Haven't you paused and wondered what your energy is all put in and at the end of the day just asking urself why ur pushing urself so hard? The natural instinct for me is to just do my best in everything. But sometimes... pushes till i wanna give up. Tiring and i always have to pray and ask for renewed strength. EAch morning is just a rush. Every hour at work a rush of activities. The flow just keep coming... and i couldnt take it anymore. So i raised it with my boss today... of course indirectly bringing the issue up. But erm.. apparently its not working very well. But at least boss is aware of my workload and don't think of adding more. Not sure if that's a good sign like maybe she thinks highly of me. In any case, its more than my two hands can handle and i just pray that God watch my hands and feet. There were many times i almost sprain my ankle, cut myself or sth along those lines. Boss says its good training... and tell me not be influenced by colleague C but i think C has been most genuine in helping me. And she's definitely indispensible at the moment... however, tomorrow and Mon she will be on leave. Little me will be all alone, no one to talk to, no one to have lunch with.... its gonna be a lonely Friday... i think. Well and i hope it'll be quiet too... no news means good news. I wouldn't want trouble on Friday. Oh Lord, please do not give me more than i can handle tomorrow... i really am afraid!!! Sigh... i'll do my best... and just be praying... and praying...

Email me not

Today is super siansation day. The things on my table piled up as high as... mt kinabalu. I was almost suffocated under that load. But i met the challenge and cleared the way till i can see my table again. I didn't even leave my office for lunch today. Just dabao back. Thanks to the server that went down. I had to rush and expedite everything in just an hour or so. Glad its all over though.... ... That's work in reality i guess... work work work. Nobody realy cares about social life. This is the life.. so i guess i'll make friends with everybody in that cubicle.

Head still bobbing up and down even though its been 3 days since i've returned from Bintan... geez... what a stir that ferry ride to have cause such motion sickness... the cost of it... URGH... so irritating at times... but God has been keeping everything under control. All problems at bay. Amen

where did time go?

Today, the workload was almost doubled... alittle disruptions and there... and hence, had to go home late today. Well, made minor mistakes here and there... though it is expected that there should be absolutely no space for error. I'm still learning.. and ya... will try to be more careful. It was nice to have Gary to call me during lunch and emailed him short messages now and then.

But just feel job is really getting mundane. I need something with more challenge and brain juices... ya... and more pay of course. Think i'm getting more materialistic... or maybe i'm just tired of staring into windows and not being able to get what i really want. Hmm... was influenced by what Gary was telling me yesterday about money. Like money can earn one.. so if you really want it, why don't you get it? Like yes... if i really want something i should work hard to get it... and i need a job that will reward me accordingly. Well, first on my list is Australia plane tickets!! HAha.. then i can go there and shop until i drop!

Things new that i did today, i came home and painted a picture for upcoming Bintan trip. *tired* i'm off to bed... gdnite u all

Here I am,
Oh God I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
And I will be complete in You.

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day,
And I will be complete in..I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

The above song is called complete... I feel that its very tuneful however, the words when sung made me feel like one have to work very hard to reach God. It's as though its a burden. I think when one is in God, its a peaceful and joyful kinda feeling in contrast to a streaneous emotional thing. Resting in the Lord. My heart was lifted up when it came to seeing beyond the calvary. What marvelous glory there will be that our human eyes cannot see. Yet there is a yearn inside which longs to experience this unexplainable hope. My advise, listen to it, but do pay more attention to what the words speak to your heart. *smiles* have a great week ahead.

Early day off

Today i knocked off early.

Colleague A: Linda want to go home at 7 today anot?
Me: Try loh.. must see if can finish anot.
Colleague A: Don't need to try, if cannot finish don't care we go off!
Me: Sigh* try lah...

In the end, i was the one who really went off at 7 and colleague A was still clearing up her work. But ya, i think its important to like finish off work well than going off early.

Heehee.. ... finally get to go home earlier than the new girl today. *gleams*

Hope this will continue tomorrow!

One of those days...

It's just one of those days which bothers me...

that it feels like i can sit in the middle of a really busy street and sob, and no one would even bother to care... ... no one would offer a care. Not for a minute, not a second. But just stares and sniggers.

It's an awful feeling.

sobs~ no one really cares nowadays... ...

Absolutely nothing to pick on.... ...

Most of my days, i don't have much to complain about. Today was such a day. Thought that the new girl will lunch with me and the other colleague but i think she does not feel comfortable to eat with us. She is such a pretty girl, one glance and 2 things come to mind. Either she is a air stewardess or a model.

Morning was really slow, with me having abit of time to rest in my chair. It started picking up pace in the late afternoon which is really bad! I mean... i rather it fast in the morning and slow in the evening so that i can go home early. Ever since 2nd week of work, I've NEVER knocked off on time. It's absolutely unacceptable. So... from next week onwards its.... aim for 6pm!!! I have to rethink what to do at what time so as to end early. Free myself to do more things. After all life is more than just working wouldn't you agree?










1,2 &3) Found this absolutely great place to chill out. It's called Sante Fe and its at Marina Bay. Very quiet and yet has got great food. Was goofing around in the boat but got alittle dizzy after that because the boat does rocks. Nonetheless, i think its a good idea to even just pop by for a visit.

4) Found this very meaningful banner in my church toilet. Haha... you know toilet is where Einstein got his inspiration from. For me, right now life is really about keeping things real, pure and space. Too many times life is being exaggerated via the media and through our incessant whinching. It's time to get real, stay with realistic methods to reach ur dreams or goals. Pure, simply because if you're pure inside, it reflects outward. Beauty only takes you so far, your character brings you a step further. Space for just to be carefree, space to be comfortable with who you really are. I plan to give that comfortable space to everyone around me. There are just too many opinions out there but there's no one to hear them. So i give my ears for the price of nil.

5 and 6) Just some interesting plants that triggered me to take a few snap shots at them. *smiles*


weekend is here! Yippie ya~

Messed up

My head is churning... but i feel somewhat assured.

I leave u with a poem

Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them. The point is to live everything.
Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually without even notcing it live your way into your answers...

of course this poem is flawed in one way or another...

From afar... ...

Haven't met her for 6 years due to distance. It was great to meet up with her again! Good to know that all is fine with her. Individuals all have struggles in life. I'm not alone. It was great to be out shopping and all... wish there was more chance of having such meet ups.

Work has been tiring with lots of overtime. It kills the joy of working when you have to work for very long hours. No social life. It gets daunting like lost my social skills or something along those lines. I get so tired each day, perhaps i should evaluate my reasons for living. Thankfully God has placed people like Gary, a few of my friends and family members who have been supportive. I do get blue... sometimes black.

I relate my feelings to clouds. Sometimes i turn grey, and pour (teary). Sometimes, bright and cheery. Its the unloading of burden and cares of the world. Its hard to stand out, in fear of being put down. Rejection, criticism and being reprimanded, i believe those are all part of life. Learning to deal with them can often be an emotional uphill. But i won't give up... will keep trying to be better. Improve on what i am lacking in.

I miss being free... ... ...

I know how hard it can be... ...

This Saturday is slightly different from other Saturdays. There's no Cell Group today and so... i got up in the morning, got ready to go and open an account. Brought my sis along with me to the bank. There were many people who like myself wanted to open an account or make transactions. I must say that i was initially pretty impressed with the service however, they kinda screwed up linking my card. I could not make any transactions!!! i had to re-queue and ask again. My sis was complaining also... then she was telling me that Bank XYZ had much better service... etc. It was nice to go out with my sis. We did abit of shopping for mother's day gift. I know its pretty early but newspaper ads are already advertising for like mother's day. I figured since i'm free, why not do the shopping in advance and spare myself the last minute panick attack. Anyway, its a really small gift. I need to do some alteration to the gift. Gonna be alittle tricky but we'll see how it works out. The bulk of the cash shall be contributed together with my other siblings for lunch/dinner treat. (That was morning)

(afternoon) Gave family a lunch treat since mom wasn't cooking. Spoke to Gary for a few minutes and got down to cleaning my poorly maintained home. Everybody has been so busy with work and school, and i feel that everybody can help in little ways instead of making me do everything. Rubbish like paper throw in the bin, not left lying around, wash their own cups after drinking or at the very least, bring the used cup to the basin for washing. And it doesn't help when my mom bought those plants during CNY. She likes to buy ALOT of things... but doesn't like to maintain it. She doesn't bother to water the plants... the leaves and soil are being blown into the house. I wish the plants are thrown away... such a bother!!!

The house is so much cleaner but not neater... it will NEVER be neat because my mother refuses to throw nonsensical and useless stuff out. Broken radio she also wants to keep *faints*

Tired, i decided to come here and blog...

-Quick updates about work-
It's been 1 week and 2 days at work.
Well, shockingly, i had to go back on my first Saturday on this job!! They are moving 2 floors down and alot of files had to be carried down. Little me helped to carry boxes of files down. Thanks to the invention of trollys... after which hours were spent doing filing tons of papers.

God has been good cause there was this intern who has been working there for 3 months. I think he is quite bright as he understands and learns the rope pretty fast. Plus he has a keen eye for details so little mistakes, he is quick to spot. He has been very helpful cause he spotted so many of my mistakes. The people there so far have been kind and nice... Aunties and Uncles. I've met the big boss and 2nd big boss.. but i don't think i want to be too close to them.

The intern is gone means upcoming week i have to be extra careful cause there's no one there to spot my mistakes. So anything not sure i have to ask. Though i've got plenty to complain about, i'm still thankful somehow. God must have a plan for me there.

I'm still adjusting and trying to be more careful and understand the processes in my job. Alot of termalogy and jargons used. Too many short forms... i hope to get adjusted soon. I want to help relieve the auntie of her work so that she don't have to do so much OT and we can all go home early together.

Time management now gets more crucial. Must have time for God, boyfriend, family and friends. Oh and also... SLEEP! *smiles*

Gonna go for dinner... stomach hungry... shall blog next time!

Last Friday at current work

Today was quite an impromptu surprise. Met up with university classmates for lunch. So happy to see them... becoz i've always wanted to like meet them but they always bz... Still haven't met Carol but yup! When i first saw them... the first comment was.. OH MY!! LINDA YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT... which indeed is true. I have lost approximately 5kg over the months. Due to the fact that i kept falling sick month after month. Have to pray for good health. They even ask if i'm anorexia. diao~ Please lah... i'm a food lover... now why would i reject food? It's one thing that i look forward to... LUNCH BREAKS! Nice chatting with them.. i felt so much more myself.

My colleague treat me to Bundung drink with pearls! I didn't know that mr. bean sold such fantastic drinks... mind you the pearls are awesome! Not too soft, not too hard... the right texture. It's quality pearls.

Thankful for the good weather... God uphold the rain and let it poured at the right moment.
Go for lunch, drizzled.
Sit down, it poured.
Walking back, it drizzled.
Reach office, it poured... and i didn't have umbrella with me. I feel that we usually are thankful for the big things like promotion and all.. but not for the little things. Which makes us all grumpy and ungrateful nut.

Talk of the town: "Why are the members of parliment earning so much? Justified?"
*Linda frowns*

This is Reuters pantry.. paradise*

The city that never sleeps (workaholics)

And... Mmm the delicious Bundung Pearl Drink. Too much pearls... haha couldn't finish it.

I shall forget thee not

Just thought i would take sometime to write everything that has happened in the past month lest i forget and be ungrateful and totally disatisfied with things... lest i forget my creator who opened the doors so graciously for me...

Past few months have been a tiring laborious search for a place to start. So i thought the hard labour ends with that expensive paper... but i was wrong. Somehow... no matter how far i have progressed, it seems to be a start to a very long journey. Pressures of home and external factors were great. With pple who sneered and who think that you'll never make it anywhere.. and everyday, pple from home, work constantly asking you what you want to do. Anxiously waiting.. wondering if there was ever gonna be work for me. The big question of "What's Next?" Constantly appearing... and faith weakens. Discouraging words at home... that really hits home. Where had i gone wrong? What was i doing wrong? So many questions... with no answers.

Thankfully for one or two pple around(THank you Gary Dear and my dearest sister). Their small acts of encouragement uplifts my spirit. In church, i knew He was there... and somehow though i couldn't give anyone a good answer... He pulled me through each and every embarrassing moment.

I'm still struggling in this world of reality. What drives people to do what they do. What drives them to behave the way they do. It irks me sometimes to the brink of giving up on my own kind. Yet the Lord says to love our neighbours as ourselves. These are the very people He gave His son to die on the cross... the very people He loves. Since he sees such value in us, who am i to reject. I'm still unsure what lies ahead. I still do not know how to react or what to say in many situations.

May i remain thankful no matter how things are gonna be in my next job. That no matter how rough things are... that i will find strength in the very Lord who gave me life.

Straits Times contradicts themselves

Before you go nodding in agreement to every section of the newspaper...
Today, there is this contradiction. Not that i spotted it. Sth raised by some colleagues... ...
Straits TimesThe Business Times pg 10"Singapore is emerging increasingly attractive place to work, according to the results of a recent survery by global consulting firm Watson Wyatt... attributes new allure to two main factors. First, the expansion of companies' toles in Singapore Working in MNC is the same whether here or in London or New York.
The Straits times, pg H21
New York - CITIGROUP is taking its biggest step in the first major overhaul of the banking giant since it was forged by a merger nearly a decade ago.
· Citigroup is planning to shed between 10,000 and 12,000 jobs this year from across the company, according to people briefed on the situation. · Some 14,000 additional positions will be lost to attrition and relocated from high-cost locations - including London, Hong Kong, and New York, where the company is based - to less expensive areas like India, Buffalo, Cincinnati, Ohio, and northern New Jersey. Looks like staffs in Citibank have to be prepared.
My insights: Well, in the market, acquisitions and mergers are taking place every second. Companies whether MNCs or not have to be on their toes. ABN Amro is the next target. As companies are being bought over, mergers being made, a down scale has to be made some time soon. So before you start being joyful that your company is expanding, think again, you might be the next one on the axe.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007
When its all about the fame and the fortune
Some people live for the fortune Some people live just for the fame Some people live for the power Some people live just to play the game Some people think that the physical things Define what's within And I've been there before But that life's a bore So full of the superficial Some people search for a fountain The promises forever young Some people need three dozen roses And that's the only way to prove you love them Hand me a world on a silver platter And what good would it be?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Inspiring McJob?
According to channelnewsasia, McJob is actually found in the British dictionary and this is the meaning that comes out of it.Oxford English Dictionary (OED) describes a McJob as "an unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector". I went to run a check at wikipedia and it said the same thing. You can check out this web if you want to see it for yourself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McJob.
Well hey, that's what it is isn't it. A low-paying job! Here's where it gets juicy. Macdonald WANTS to change that meaning to "reflect a job that is stimulating, rewarding and offers genuine opportunities for career progression and skills that last a lifetime." *Linda faints* Well, i suggest that the first step they take is to review everyone's pay in MacDonalds. Staff there ought to be paid 1500 per annum at least with annual leave just like any other MNCs. I'm not a Mac staff and nobody is paying me to say this. Just throwing out what's on my mind. That'll be the day when pple start rushing to send in their resumes to work for Macs. Will that day ever come? Hmm... ..

Queasy... that the way i will describe how i'm feeling right now though i'm just 30mins away from knock off time.
Yesterday i watched the show Hana Kimi with my sis. It was the last episode. I started watching the show mid way say 3 weeks ago. And can i say that i was appalled at how it ended. It's like ARGH... you kow how is it like to watch a show only to realise that the ending is so disappointing. The same goes for story book. I was almost strangled my sis. She lah... always want to watch that show. Grr... Waste my time... luckily i didn't watch it from the start if not i'll be furious. Its a love show and every love show should have an ending like if the couple ends up together or not. But does it? No it leaves the audience hanging there, lingering not knowing if the couple got together anot. I don't like!!!

Monday, March 19, 2007
Tuesday Morning
The sky looks gloomy this morning. Nothing bright or cherry about it. Just like my head it feels empty. I feel sleepy too. But the call this morning made me smile. Gary made my day, even when i was feeling sleepy and feeling a little under the weather. 8mths made me think just how much do i know of him thus far. Different countries but bonded by the same belief and values in life. I'm really really thankful for him. The going may be tough at times, both for him and for myself. Nonetheless, we've pulled each other through by God's grace.
I may feel that i'm stuck in a rut, but God may have an explanation for it. Perhaps God is preventing me from entering a career path which He knows is not for me or not His will for me. It's all about God's perfect timing isn't it. Not about what the majority are earning...etc. Which brings about to a short conversation i had with my neighbour this morning. He was waving and saying goodbye to his precious daughter. Why did i say precious. He took time to wait for her to respond with her eyes (she can't talk yet) and i could sense a "daddy don't want to go work but spend time with you" kinda feel. Anyway, i met him again at the bus stop (we both took different paths to walk to the bus stop). Had a brief chat on what i was doing at work and all. Don't know what is he doing, but hopefully he's happy with his job. More updates later!

Arrival of Friday
Today has been quite hectic, considering that it is a Friday. Dsicrepencies, things i do not understand, they are just happening. However, everything is still under control. Just need to do abit of talking here and there, there and there. I shan't dwell too much on these things which i do not consider as jewels in my life.
Lunch was simple. I didn't take very long to find a place and settle for nasi lemak. It was quite alright. Chop chop, finished and i went for my stroll. I decided to be much more adventurous and explore further with the time i had on my hands. I went into Central Square. I haven't step in for let's say 3 years? I must have been there at a wrong time becoz i don't remember seeing so many shops and things over there. Vibrant and zipping with mass of people. Oh and a very rare sight, pubs being opened and patronized in the early afternoon! Oh yes, these pubs cater for the europeans who would drink even in the wee hours of the morning. Drinks to them are for all occassions. Well i had joy just walking around, quieting enjoying and absorbing all the energy around. Now back into my office desk, i shall now attempt to resolve the very confusing and difficult problems.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Shop to Drop: $63K to Dress for Wall Street Success http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601093&sid=apUYXurK2A.I&refer=home
While you dudes out there are checking out the goodies to read at Straits Times, i find mine at bloomberg. My oh my... just how much can one really shop till they drop. So indeed there is a market for jean paul and hermes. Because of these highly paid people who would kill for such an item.
Quick update, this morning i came into the office unusually early. I thought i would just get my laptop set up, have everything running before going for breakfast. BUT, ALAS! To my horror, i could not be connected to the LAN. I checked the lines, restarted the laptop 3 times but to no avail. Hence, i had no choice bu to call the IT pple. IT pple to the rescue. They are really a bunch of nice pple. They have to run around all the time and they don't have a desk or department of their own. Yesterday there was a real big problem with the Outlook, with connection. This whole week has been a bad week for them. By the time my problem was resolved, it was already time to work. There goes my breakfast. Stomach's kind of craving for roti prata.
After which, i received an email frm StrangerA. Apparently, there is a small tiny little problem between the departments, which does not involve me. Can i add that i was extremely tired and sleepy. I was sleepy yet wide awake. Praise God, i stared and the msg and initial idea was to just communicate with that person directly. That would have been a wrong move. Since its not in my work scope, i approached 2nd in command and he said he'll bring it up to the head. Settled.
Didn't sleep well last night becoz my i was emotionally too tired to go to sleep. Had things in my head to think about. Hopefully i won't get caught for falling asleep. Maybe i should take half day off just to go home and sleep.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Quiet
I jumped start my day today. It was a real challenge to get myself out of bed even though i was already awaken. Lately, i've been waking up much earlier than my alarm clock. Today was of no exception. I knew that i had to get out of bed soon if i wanted to complete my own stuff even before i started work. Minutes before it strike 6, i out of bed and ready to begin my day. It was quite a rush but definitely refreshing... not until my mother woke up. Gosh... she's really a light sleeper. Getting up, she started her usual "speech" and it was distracting as i was trying to get some work done. Well, for a start she did stopped talking when i told her i was tryinig to get my stuff done. Dad was great. He got up, got some beehoon out and got me eating breakfast with 2 hard boiled eggs. MmmMMm yummy! Thanks Dad. Before i left for work, i right about finished what i wanted to do. Well its not bad considering i finished 1/3 on what i set out to do. *smiles*
Praise God for the good morning. Even at work right now, its much quieter on the mails but the market has sure been springing some unusual movements. I feel so much better now, much better than yesterday (maybe i've said this too early).

~Big Shot in town
Today, there was a new foreigner who is sitted beside me. Must be some big shot, though i don't know what he exactly does or what title he holds. It's his first day here. Gonna be here for the next 2 days as well. As soon as he entered the room, he was warmly welcomed by everybody. People from other department would come to meet him. A very capable person i must say. All he had was his laptop, and in a couple of minutes, he wired it up to the monitor and was all set to go with his everyday tasks. Everything he did was so swift, like it was 2nd nature to him. Each time before he could warm his sit, he would be approached for help. In an hour, and already he had a meeting with a team of IT people.

This guy sure doesn't waste anytime. Think he expected a table and computer of his own. Could tell that he was like asking the secretary if he could have a table. Sadly, this place is swarming with pple. He had no choice but to occupy the temporal seat beside me. Could tell that there are tons of things on his mind. A talented person like himself wouldn't have time to exchange any form of conversations with me.
An insight into a VERY busy persons life.
I myself have been busy today. Firstly i had to recover from the shock that the prev temp did not tell me to get a certain form verified. I have with me 60 forms that i have to send to the next department.

After which, i had to quickly deport those forms that have been verified to another department.
Before i could do any of these, i had to ensure that i had a photocopy of anything i sent.
Couldn't make much of a calls to anybody.
I am closing shop for now. Not gonna do anything but take a breather. *Linda breathes*

Thursday, March 08, 2007
I was really out of sorts this morning. Just thankful that i didn't hit the ground. Alarm was set off at 7am as usual. But my waking up was definitely not a typical one to begin with. I off the alarm that woke me up. Fumbled out of bed 15 minutes later with a mission to proceed to the toilet. I reached for the doorknob only to be hit with a dizzy spell. Inbalance and out of sync i fell. Thankfully, onto my bed (the side which my sis was sleeping on). Slowly, i regained full conscious and was able to orientate myself steadily to the toilet. Brushing that unseemingly strange start in the morning, i rushed to get prepared. Having a quick munch, i left in quite a hurry and had to run for the bus. Satisfied with having a sit in the bus, my stomach started to churn. I cringed. I needed the toilet! I knew a diahroea was coming and it was a mid life crisis with tots hounding me with whether i shld just drop off at the next stop and look for a toilet. Gritting and biting my lips and enduring the constant discomfort that was surging from my stomach, it was the most tortureous 20 minutes journey. Efforts paid off as i rushed to the toilet and relieved myself. A pain that ward off... the sigh of relief. I staggered out of the toilet and slumped into my sit. Every now and then i feel the uprise, however its still manageable.
I went downstair, hungry looking for something plain and simple to digest. I stopped at Jollibean and purchased a red bean pancake. I know its not my idea of something plain or simple, but it was the best i could find. Everything else is oily with thick sauces.
I'm back and struggling to keep a straight face. Missing dear alot.

Running is good

Sunday is here! Went for a short run... and outran my sis.

Its kinda quiet around after awhile. Nice and peaceful... if only everyday is as such.

Nice chat with everbody today on MSN. Hmm talked alittle with a friend in church. Like why i worry... i already 1 year and a half ahead of everyone else. *Sigh*

I feel so drowned already... ...
*one don't drown in one problem.. but a pool of problemS

Last week of work was erm... kinda exciting? Like got soap opera happening literally behind my back. Being in the world but not of the world is difficult.

I may not have been able to socialise well with the pple... but i do know for sure i left an unspoken impression. What do i mean?

Well.. i was talking to Y the other day regarding work. Instead of saying the 4 letter word in front of me... it became Fff... FREAK! Wonder how that came out that way. Anyway, just keep praying... pray and pray and pray... and He will make a way.

Interesting bite of the day: Reality can be hard to swallow... but somehow our stomach digests everything...

CNY Symbolics

Tangerines, Oranges, Pomelos: Tangerines and oranges are frequently displayed in homes and stores. Tangerines are symbolic of good luck, and oranges are symbolic of wealth. These Chinese New Year symbols have developed through a language pun, the word for tangerine having the same sound as "luck" in Chinese, and the word for orange having the same sound as "wealth". Pomelos are large pear-shaped grapefruits.

CNY blooper

Kinda hillarious... went for visitation today... first visitation was in the evening. Everybody had something on their mind.

We were half way in the journey when my sis suddenly blurted out, where are the oranges? Gosh... we remembered the hong baos, to dress in bright nice colours but forgotten the ORANGES!

So... we travelled all the way back.

It was nice to talk to pple... especially the old uncle and aunties. They try to talk to us. Like there was this uncle. I never actually talk to him... but i know he watches a whole lot of tv. He taught me and my sis a trick, one with a ring and a string. Haha... it was really cool. I had to do it a couple of times before suceeding... Very patient... and he learnt it from TV! How cool is that?!

Very amusing uncle. Thank you Uncle. You made this visitation so much more interesting than just collecting hong baos and watching chinese shows.

Oh i also went for a jog today with my sis and mother. It was nice to be out with them... never had a chance to do this becoz of our different activities. Really great to do stuff as such. It rained half way... forced us to run for shelter... haha we really did run with whatever energy we had. Sure was refreshing *pant*pant* It's nice to spend time with my family.

One more public holiday before work... last day of rest. Have to discipline myself to dedicate my time to God as well... time management... a constant struggle.

Reunion Dinner

Unpredictable... but yes, i'm sick AGAIN! THis time... G pass one it on. Sore throat hurts like crazy. This morning all i had was the sore throat but now it is now it has gone from just sore throat to bad headaches. Ouch!!!~~~~

Good food but no mood to savour each and every delicacy.

G is going back to Brissy Brissy.. ... miss him? Yea... of course i will... but what other options are there? Such are the circumstances of life that we have to accept... there must be something to learn out of this... something that we'll find out along this long journey.

Right now, there's a couple of things just firing up in my head.

Job, Love, Family... ... and of course God.

Everyday is a different story, everyday a role has to be played.

2nd day of independent working

Let's see... today is 2nd day of independent working. So far so good... except for afew 'surprises' in the morning. Colleague who i passed the laptop to was on leave. So i thought... oke... no work AGAIN? But... Colleague number 2 came to the rescue.

Everything is up and well. Nothing interesting this morning. There is the CNY mood in the air surrounding me. Only me becoz i'm not stressed out. BleH... ... there are afew lime trees around.. just to usher in the CNY. Yes.. ... red is good.

Later meeting Mr. I for lunch. Yes... i'm hungry already.

Finally feeling thankful for my job. In fact... i ASKED for IT. Just afew months back... i remembered asking myself just how am i going to fit into this full time job routine... one idea was to do part-time kinda stuff... just to get used to working life.

So here it is... yea... kinda good cause sometimes here and there you realise you're not the only one complaining and whining. Life so far is pretty good i must say. No targets... of course... that also means no end year bonus.

Its great to remain young... no liabilities, no loans, no debts. Just work and feed myself.

Been praying before i go to work. Afraid i'll slip up. Yes, by God's grace i make it through each and everyday, without a scratch.

Sick

Lately, i've been down with cold and flu... well first it was the cold and now the flu...

First i have recovered and now i'm down AGAIN... grr... Not sure how i got sick this time... but i think my brother passed it to me... was taking care of him the other day becoz he's really sick. Tons of family problems... not sure how to deal with it at times but by faith God will sustain me and see us through... ...

Gary was really sweet, patient thoughtful and caring... throughout the day today, he took care of me... gave me panadol, smashed it up till its powdery for me to drink, made honey and barley for me... Giggles... what more can a girl ask for?

Feel kinda dry lately, spritually dry. Haven't been reading the bible. Like there's so much things to do in the morning. More like i have to do alot of mundane stuff... perhaps is my want to contribute to the family... all based on my own strength and effort...

Need to get back... need to manage my time more effectively. Time to sleep, time to play, time to write resume, time for family, time for Gary too...

The Search is on

Wow... another week has passed. I reckon that events in my life aren't very nicely spaced out. Just like how life is... not always nicely neatly mapped out for each one of us as we never know what life may throw at us. It may be something sweet, or it might be something bitter. Either or, we must know how to manage that excitement, joy, sadness or melancholic.

I am but amazed at how successful people get, and i yes... at times i do envy those who could already achieve what they have right now. A family, house, car and a fantastic job that pays well. Like a little naive child, i am easily drifted away with the flow of success and all that is rosy. I conveniently store away in my mind the hard ships the pain as well as the sorrow that one goes through life. Failures? What failures? Difficulties? What difficulties? Forgetting that with obstacles, a person can come out stronger, better and more victorious. With that said, lest may i not forget principals, morals and of course the one and most importantly God. The one who gave MEANING , to life, giving us another chance.

How my life is going to be like next? Am i really gonna be able to handle working life and take on the challenges and obstacles ahead of me? I am really not sure... to do my best and let God steer this ship, trusting that whatever is ahead is for my own good. I believe that is how life should be. Not a rosy picture.... but one that is meaningful enough.... ....

Journey is long and narrow

Have send out my resumes to everywhere i can so far... still trying... no replies from any companies yet... I want to work. Sigh... but i'm either underqualified or over qualified.

Just came back from steamboat at Marina South. Giggles... last time i was there, it was with my poly classmates. They have made some changes.. like no free flow of prawns and crabs. Standard serving given out, depending on the number of pple per table.

It was a nice meal given by G's parents. Thanks dear...

Tml will be going for 2 bday parties. One is G's Mom... and the other is A's.

A's havent been feeling too well. But she's already doing a great job sending invitations and making arrangements. I can't wait to see her.... ...

Will be a bz day tml... why? Becoz i got my ear stuffed... its blockeD~

Its affecting my brains.... blockhead.... hope it'll clear by itself tml... so no need to spend $ on doc... such a waste of money... ...

i'm spending money even before i start earning... ... will blog again... soon... ... i hope.

Last year.. this year... next year

Past few weeks have been a bz week. Sending resumes (still in the process of doing so), bought a new desktop, getting it fixed up, got my luggage that i shipped back (long overdue)... etc.

As you can see... the fact that i haven't been blogging... just shows that i haven't been reflecting much. Still going through the adjusting period i guess. Yesterday, met ting ting. Glad that she is in good spirits though she does look alittle bored at home. But yes... looking at her leg sort of reminded me to continue to pray for her. Met PJ along the way and just happy that she's got her dream job. Speaking of job... perhaps it is true that working is very important. I started out wanting to be a financial analyst or something of that sort. Sounded like a fantastic job, good prospects, lots of hard work and great salary as well. Think i just wanted to cash in or look great. Perhaps a job of such status was just a ego boost. But, i'm glad that i've been more realistic after talking to a few people around me.

I guess what impacted me most was a close friend of mine. I don't have many close friends... she's just one of the closer ones that shared loads of laughter and pain in Poly. She got leukemia...

Life is just so fragile... sometimes without us knowing just how precious one life really is. What we do, the food we eat... my bf once got in a car accident and when he came to, the first thing he looked for was his laptop... ... It's a nice reminder to know that there are just some things in life, money cannot buy. More importantly, to make use of the time that God has so graciously endowed on us. Last year? This year? Next year? What about now... ...