Confession Time

Just got back from church...

For the first time, i am actually helping out in Junior Youth. In particular the sec 3s coming sec 4s.. erm.. its a struggle for me definitely because i feel so little. What i know of the Lord, is just like that... its not much. I felt awkward and in fact, i felt like i was being analysed by the young ones. It didn't help much that i was so burdened in my heart. During the 2nd service, my heart was just wondering, i mean i know pastor was teaching on Titus. But my heart was very burdended and here's why...

Friday i over-reacted at work. And, i caused alot of pple to be worried and unhappy. My boyfriend, my colleague and my boss. Looking back, i feel that it was stupid for me to have done what i've done. I only knew i was angry and was more concerned about my issue than others. I mean you know when somebody push u, i don't think you will go and hug the person. Rather u will want to push him back. And, i think that was what i did and maybe abit worse. Very burdened about Monday how my colleagues look at me and judge me for who i am. I feel broken inside and not myself the past few days. I don't know how.. or what to do next.

Just want to thank AMadea my closest church friend for praying for me. For my heart to really forgive and to have the wisdom to amend the broken r/s at work.

This Thursday, Jean and myself will be bringing the girls out to like bond with them. I also don't know how i'll fit in. Hope work on Thursday don't drag me down.

Right now i feel very vunerable becoz of the dumb thing i did at work and becoz i really want to give my best shot for God in this service. Soo.. praying he'll work through my weaknesses... and that even though my knowledge of the bible is only so little, that i can still share sth that can stick to their hearts and carry them through throughout their lives.