Officially graduated.

Yea... results was out yesterday... glad that i passed, though it did not meet my expectations... but nonetheless... i knew i gave it my best shot and that God helped me through it. I'm really thankful that its over... hmm.. think i've learnt alot during my 1.5 years of stay here. Not just study wise, perhaps street wise, emotional wise... ...etc.

God has been gracious and HE already started closing afew doors for me. Also good.. i have learnt that having many doors are not always good. Sometimes just having the few options are better. God knows what is best and i ought to trust in Him and His ways, not on my own understanding.

Think i've said my thanks in the last few posts. Couldn't have made it w/o these pple. It's a time of rejoicing with my fellow friends. We have come a very long way and definitely bonded with each other. Will have to continue to rely on each other for support as we enter the workforce together at the same time.

Now is a time of relentless prayer. Prayer for G that he will meet his target, for direction and discernment in my life, for my parents stay here...

Hmm... this past few days have been bz packing. Packing can sure be a chore... pack this pack that... need alot of organisation and time.

Oke... more updates on what my plans are in the following posts.

Pictures that you've nv seen

pics that you didn't get to see... becoz i didn't email them out. Bleh* Each pic takes up quite a hefty amount of space and hotmail has a limit of 10MB, yahoo even lesser. So anyway, here's the pics... RoLL It!

For more exclusive footage, pm me.


This how pple look after drinking (Apple juice)

Let's all try to squeeze and see one score

Wo hai nian qing!

Look who's all pretty in pink!

Wah... cake is finger lickin good!

To think about

Last night, i went to Rosallie... always wanted to go there with the 3 masketeers but i was always bz with studying. It was quite a fee i must say. Cannot go there very often. Big(Da) S was so kind to bring me there to check the place out. Sad that the theme was kinda obscene. One of nudity (censored). But nonetheless... it didn't spoil the atmosphere. Its always nice to hang out with Da S. She brought up some stuff for me to think about. Like my time from now till... my parents arrive. Honestly, i haven't started packing yet. Wonder just how much of my heart is willing to go.

Time kinda disrupted becoz of G. I would have done things SOOooOOo much more differently without G. Indeed, a relationship requires a humongeous amount of sacrifice of time. I laid it all on the table before him... and i told him my choice. Not really sure how much he sees that i put into this. Just hope that he appreciates it. Don't require him to do anything special or unique for me. Just hope that he'll serve God, and grow to be more and more like Jesus, be a God fearing man is all i ask. After all, at the end of each day, its all about God and not about us. Is he a hinderance or does he motivate me to be a better person? Hmm... i dare not comment too much. But one thing i know is that he has taught me to love, kind, forgiveness and generosity. Always encouraging me to be more of a lady. Through our communication, he has shown me my weakness as well... impatieness... probably one of the source of the many hostile and emotional statements i make. I just wished i had more time for the others.... i wish to spend more time with the rest. ANymore coffee outings anyone? At my place? I whip up something?

Finally, today he finishes his last paper. Looking at the time right now, 10:46am, he has already completed his maths paper and i'm sure that he's now looking through his slides for IT. He really needs to have a better method on how to go about revising for his exams. Any gd study methods, please feel free to let him know (if you know him), or blog about it.

Gonna continue to look out for jobs on the internet. Father please lead me to this job if it is your will.

This morning hasn't been totally great. I had 3 nightmares of which, i can only remember two. One of them was that... i actually flunk my Chinese paper and i JUST made it for my corporate finance. Haha.. funny... i'm not taking any CHinese exam. But i was really upset to know that i FAILED one paper!!! And hey! My HUA YU is not all that bad! The other nightmare is kinda personally, involved me, G and my Dad.

*sigh* what's the point in fretting right now? SOmetimes i wish i could do so much more than praying.. but ya... what to do? Pray.... .... ....

Just praying for my parents heart to be ready for their trip here as well. Lately my mom has been quite edgy. Not sure why, but i seem to always be having some kind of heated conversation with her. It always involves one thing. My own preference and over what SHE feels is good and right. Everyone deserves to choose what they like don't they? Sigh... i wish she could be more encouraging and supportive in what i do. *sobs* always hurt to end a conversation like that, becoz deep down inside, i don't want to be seen as being disobedient or disrespectful. I still love her very much, but why should it be at the expense of my freedom to choose and decide what is best for myself?

Comfort for the day, i am never alone. Watched Oprah the other day and it featured this lady and daughter who couldn't get along with each other. They both wanted to scratch each other... perhaps what i lack is patience and understanding eh?

*Linda breathes*

Silent Treatment

Sent out a couple of resumes to Recruitment agents yesterday. Not sure if i'm going about getting a job the right way. Don't even know if those agents are reliable. Sigh*

My phone has been all quiet.

Gary has been trying to study... but not sure why, he's feeling kinda demoralised. The exams are wearing him down. Just have to keep praying for him. *argh* feeling so sad... that i can't take the paper for him. Only can encourage him to persevere on.

It's funny that we both have exams... timed exactly one week after mine...
same structure 3 days consecutively, only diff... his is 5 papers!!!

He has to make it... i hope he does... it might seem kinda selfish... but i'm pinning my hopes on him that he'll make it.

S and R is returning back to Singapore. Sad to see them go.. i mean... we can still meet up again in Singapore... but it'll be different. Very different. EAch carrying different responsibilities.

One thing that striked me like something that pricks my heart yesterday by pastor S was....
the very phrase that he questioned himself... "how can something be wrong be so right" i always pondered on those phrases as a teen (well i'm still a teen). I saw in however in a different light.

I would look at the modern thinking of todays world. Touch topics like premarital sex, abortion, smoking..etc. and yet, these are the very trends that are in the world. The media says it, with shows reflecting that smoking is cool, that having premarial sex is the norm... look at how guys think nowadays... some of it are just appalling... what they think is oke... and acceptable. The one thing that sets both females and males apart. Females are more prone to think for the future, the aftermath. But for guys... if its oke now, its oke... at least that was what i grasp from afew pages of a book that i picked up today.

How to live in a world of today and yet not be of the world... i know i myself have made many countless wrong decisions, wrong choices though i'm just 21. However, i want to strive to present myself as a presentable person before God. Just something pleasing... no matter how small it is. Still praying that Gary will be able to take the lead and help bring both of us closer to God. He's got alot of personal problems of his own... .. hopefully one day God will rise him above and bring him out of his own misery... prayers prayers... ....

The journey ahead is long... and i've just been pretty much under the weather... its all gloomy and sad inside.. *sigh*

Special Thankgiving night

Gotta think about things that have progressed till today. Alot of thoughts.

When i first arrived here in Brisbane, i was lost. My impressions of Brisbane and thoughts about what i would do during my stay here was very different to what is today.

When i first arrived here, questions such as whether i could fend for myself, whether i could study, whether i could juggle studying and working at the same time, wheter i would still stick close to God, whether I would grow in the Lord... question after question.

There were plenty of things to deal with. Cultural shock, weather difference... and it did not help that I had no friends. However, God has been amazing... friends whom i never knew would cross my path... e.g. Theolynn and Angelene... how i met Calvin and Carol. Never would i have imagined that this last semester would ever arrive.

God has just been so faithful... even though there were times i couldn't feel him there... where i just questioned whether he has forgotten me. Sometimes it feels like i'm speaking to an invisible person... like i'm talking to the air. It's times as such that God surround me by so many people who care... Serene who comes over to lend a ear, a shoulder, her advice... she's a sister and a friend whom i can count on. Sick, lonely.... she's there... ... no amount of thanks will ever be enough to show my appreciation for the amount of care and love that she showered over me. If there's one thing which i really want to thank her for, is her patience, encouragement and guidiance in teaching me to serve God. It's always been a secret desire to want to play the piano, but i never felt adequate enough to be up there... the many late nights of practice at the piano... are the ones that i am really gonna miss. Though i still think i'm not adequate enough, i am but grateful for being able to give part of my service to God and just pray that it'll be pleasing to Him.

Then there's Matthew and Samuel. The two matured brothers in Christ. Both with very different personalities but both fervent and devoted to God. Something that i've been very much influenced by. It's a contagious passion that is GOOD... and you cannot help but catch alittle of it myself.

and... the very hospitable Jace and Kezia. Their both very sociable and caring people. I wouldn't have survived the summer without them opening their house. Their little guidiance and listening ear. Especially Kezia who so willingly chauffeur me over to Aunty Molly place to have discipleship lessons.

Then there's Eexuan, Ena, Ting Ting and Shan... where would i be without them. The few girl's only chats... the listening ear, the advice and food. Those who i know i can grow together in Christ with. Just spurring each other on. Like seeing Eexuan and Ena taking on more roles each time aside the immense pressure in school... just spurs me to do more on my part too.

There's so much more to name...

1st arrival here Carol and Dennis

Summer :Jace and Kezia, Serene, Matthew , KiaTeck, Kat and Merv, Charles, Samuel (Thanksgiving night, Christmas, New YEar...)

First time play piano in church.

Parents visit, making them feel so welcomed.

21st BIRHTDAY!!!! WOo hOO... Tania... Matthew, Serene, Jace, Kezia, Kia Teck, Samuel, Helen, Kitty, Dennis, Sonia, Ken, Charles, Helen... and they all came in to my party in my favourite colours!!!!

Move house... Isaac, Serene, Jace, Chung, Ena, Eexuan, Collin, Samuel, Mark?

Coffee... Outings... movie nights...

Retreat Camp... loads of fun and growing together in Christ... see the different sides of people. Even Brat, see him spontaneously joining us in games. Have fun together and suffer in the cold together.

Ting Ting car accident... and you see how the whole church gelled together to pray for her

Part of the committee meeting. Enjoyed the outings... so spurred on to do more... like just from Ena and Eexuan... working with new members...

Group Study with the girls...

The Group coming over for visit and pray just before exam.

Just glad that there's no strong cliques formed... cause i just love to get a piece of everybody. Just want to thank the Lord for each special and unique individual. And just want to pray that this contagious passion you all have for Christ will spread to everybody around you.

It would not be possible if....

YiPPieEEee....

I have finished my final paper... 3 papers consecutively one after another. I would not have made it if wasn't for ... ....

1) God, who was there to give me the hope, strength and encouragement i needed.

2) For the friends around me. For J who got alot of questions especially Forwards and Futures. For those who spurred me on to do better.

3) For Gary to encourage me, root for me, cook for me, drive me to EVERY exam, pray for me for every exam, and as though that is not enough, COMFORT me after every exam. *smilLes* Thanks for being there... and providing me with the support i needed.

4) For my endearing mother and father who has been praying EVERYDAY before and during my paper.

5) For the trees and the resources. I used up 1 and a half foolscap and one G2-07 pilot pen in 8 days....

6) For the Unicellers who came over with the kit kats (they were great for motivation)

7) For everyone else who cared for me.... and prayed for me... thank you!!!!

Now have to plan for the next big thing. Will be updating again soon. Chao!

Loneliness?

You might be surprised. Yes, there are plenty of times that i will be feeling lonely and lost.

A relationship cannot fill these loniliness but by depending on God alone.

John 8
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.

15 You judge according to the flesh; I judge no one. 16 And yet if I do judge, My judgment is true; for I am not alone, but I am with the Father who sent Me. 17 It is also written in your law that the testimony of two men is true. 18 I am One who bears witness of Myself, and the Father who sent Me bears witness of Me.”

John 16
31 Jesus answered them, “Do you now believe? 32 Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.

Jesus seems to be always alone. Even times where i would think support would count the most. It is true that it is always nice to have that someone to lean on, but even then so, love as between two human beings is not sufficient and will NEVER be sufficient to cover all. The only love that is truly nobel, truly pure, would be the one that comes from God.

Though at times... we may appear to be 'standing alone', with no one who understands, i am reminded once again that the Lord will be with me. His presence is always here and i'm comforted once again.

To persevere and not doubt.

James 1

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;

8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Linda's thoughts:

Pure joy when faced with trials of ALL kinds.
Hmm.. i didn't know joy could be described as pure.
i guess James knew its virtually impossible to be joyful in trials. That's why he said consider.
So you may be feeling down, upset, dissapointed with the current situation. But consider it a joy.

Just hope this exam can truly be a blessing. By faith, i will do well for my papers as he guides and leads me each step of the way as i prepare for the final papers.